Newsletter – What Are the Two Most Important Skills Leaders Need to Resolve Conflict?

October 23, 2017

What Are the Two Most Important Skills Leaders Need to Resolve Conflict?

Conflict SkillsGiven that leaders spend 30% of their time resolving unproductive conflict and that executives spend 20% of their time in litigation related activities, resolving conflict productively and skillfully should be at the top of your critical skills list.

Before we conduct conflict management workshops, we frequently have participants complete our highly-validated emotional intelligence (EQi) assessments. While the assessment measures a wide variety of skills, the two most important for successful conflict management are empathy and assertiveness.

“If you know how effective your team is in engaging empathy and assertiveness, conflict management will improve considerably.”

Empathy is recognizing, understanding, and appreciating how other people feel. You need to be able to articulate your understanding of another’s perspective and to behave in a way that respects others’ feelings.
Assertiveness involves communicating feelings, beliefs and thoughts openly, and defending personal rights and values in a socially acceptable, non-offensive, and non-destructive manner.
What’s important to recognize is that you need both of these skills in order to resolve conflict successfully. High empathy, without assertiveness, may result in a lack of personal or organizational boundaries, as well as an inability to appropriately advocate for your legitimate interests. Similarly, high assertiveness without high empathy, frequently discourages people from approaching you with their concerns and may also discourage sustainable agreements, meaning that people agree but don’t follow through.

What Should You Do?

Consider assessing yourself and your staff in order to understand their skill level with both empathy and assertiveness and where they have an opportunity to improve. If you know how effective your team is in engaging empathy and assertiveness, conflict management will improve considerably. Follow up that assessment with a useful conflict management class to provide additional essential skills.

 Did You Know

We provide both EQi assessments and conflict management workshops.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
 
Be sure to read Lynne’s book The Power of a Good Fight.
The Power of a Good Fight
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – Why People Don’t Talk to Each Other Directly and How You Can Turn This Around

October 23, 2017

Why People Don’t Talk to Each Other Directly and How You Can Turn This Around

DirectIt’s some of the most annoying behavior in any organization: a leader who avoids conflict, associates who gossip instead of speaking to the person who can solve the problem, and managers who haven’t spoken to one another in years. The common denominator in all of these situations is a lack of direct communication.
Why don’t people communicate directly? Two reasons: 1) fear of someone they view as more powerful; and 2) lack of skills.
People do what they do for what they think are very good reasons. In my experience working with organizations, there’s always a power differential at work when there’s a lack of direct communications. Ironically, leaders sometimes feel a lack of power themselves when dealing with subordinates. How can that be true?

“There’s always a power differential at work when there’s a lack of direct communications.”

Sometimes, there’s simply power in numbers. I’ve worked with CEOs who were afraid of their executive team because they needed their unconditional support to get anything accomplished and were afraid to raise issues that they knew were controversial.
Lack of skill is another common reason for indirect communications. While there’s a whole slew of conflict skills in any good conflict management class, as well as my book, The Power of a Good Fight, one of the most useful ways to change people’s approach to conflict is to simply change the definition of conflict. The one I use is that conflict is a negotiation that we don’t know we’re having. Many people may possess good negotiation skills but view conflict as so charged, they simply don’t utilize those skills during a kerfuffle they’ve labeled as conflict.

What Should You Do?

Leaders can do three important things if they’re feeling the negative effect of indirect communication in their organization:

  1. Model and name the game.Use skillful direct communication yourself and make it clear that you expect it from others.
  2. If people are not communicating directly with you, approach them in a skillful and matter-of-fact way. Say:  “I know you’ve been communicating about x with Mary instead of me. I’m sorry that this has occurred. What can I do to make it easier for you to speak with me directly?”
  3. Provide conflict management classes for all your employees.  Attend the workshops yourself and model the suggested skills.

 Did You Know

We provide conflict management workshops as stand-alone classes, a well as part of our leadership sessions.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
 
Be sure to read Lynne’s book The Power of a Good Fight.
The Power of a Good Fight
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – What Leaders Should Learn From the Harvey Weinstein Scandal

October 16, 2017

What Leaders Should Learn From the Harvery Weinstein Scandal

HarassmentWhile the complaints of sexual harassment and sexual assault against Harvey Weinstein — the famous Hollywood film producer and power broker — may be extreme, the scandal provides valuable lessons for leaders.  https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/05/us/harvey-weinstein-harassment-allegations.html?_r=0

According to the allegations, the organization settled at least eight different claims against the media mogul, stretching back decades. In addition, scores of other women have now come forward with similar complaints. Allegedly, many other executives knew about the settlements, as well as Weinstein’s pattern of inappropriate behavior. Because HR was viewed as weak, many of the mostly young women waited years to complain and only recently came forward.

“The lesson here: you can’t just look the other way.”

Although Weinstein has now resigned, the company has suffered immeasurable losses in future legal fees and settlements, productivity and public relations. Leaders who want to avoid a similar fate should pay attention to this story.

What Should You Do?

Leaders should follow two important rules with regard to sexual harassment and sexual assault in the workplace:

  1. Don’t ignore rumors. In my experience, in a situation such as Weinstein’s, “everyone knew but no one did anything.” I’ve heard this assertion in many different situations. When I ask why no one investigated, the frequent response is that they couldn’t investigate a rumor. If, however, they heard a rumor that someone was bringing a loaded gun to work, I suspect the response would differ. The lesson here:  you can’t just look the other way.
  2. Create a complaint friendly environment. In this case, women didn’t come forward because they didn’t think they would be believed and they didn’t think that HR would do anything. Leaders frequently tell me that they have enough complaints and certainly don’t want to encourage more, but trust me, it’s much better that you deal with the situation internally instead of having the first notice be what you read or hear in the press. You want to know what’s going on with your people.

 Did You Know

All of our sessions and consulting on harassment, discrimination and diversity issues help leaders understand their obligation to be responsible for their own environment, investigate rumors and encourage complaints.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
 
Be sure to read Lynne’s book on Sexual Harassment.Affirmative Action
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – Want to Avoid Dove’s PR Diversity Disaster? Here’s How

October 9, 2017

How Can You Prevent a Las Vegas Disaster in Your Workplace? Take These Steps

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This week, Dove briefly ran an online ad showing a black woman magically transforming into a white woman, presumably because she used Dove. Sharp-eyed social media users trashed the ad for its lack of awareness about diversity and inclusion issues, as well as Unilever’s (the corporate maker of Dove) lack of knowledge about the history of soap ads showing people transformed from black to white after using their products.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/08/business/dove-ad-racist.html?_r=0

“How extensive is YOUR diversity and inclusion training?”

While Unilever removed the ad and apologized for “missing the mark”, the criticism continued.

While it’s difficult to see how their marketing executives could have missed the obvious message, there are ways to avoid similar PR disasters.

What Should You Do?

To avoid Dove’s fate, consider the following:

  • Who makes similar decisions in your organization? How diverse is the group? Who has a seat at the table?
  • How extensive is your diversity and inclusion training? Have you educated your people so – at the very least – advertising campaigns that attempt to raise diversity issues will not be launched without careful review?
  • How inclusive is your recruiting effort? Is your organization diverse and inclusive?

Nothing hurts a brand more than a PR misstep such as Dove’s. While any threatened boycott may or may not materialize, you can avoid a similar tsunami if you follow these suggestions.

 Did You Know

Our diversity and inclusion sessions and consulting helps organizations prevent these kinds of issues.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
 

Be sure to read Lynne’s books on Affirmative Action and Sexual Harassment

Books

Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – How Can You Prevent a Las Vegas Disaster in Your Workplace? Take These Steps

September 25, 2017

How Can You Prevent a Las Vegas Disaster in Your Workplace? Take These Steps

It’s hard to focus on work during this sad day when we’ve had the worst mass shooting in U.S. history:  58 dead so far and more than 500 hurt by the shooting or resulting stampede. https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/02/us/las-vegas-shooting.html?action=click&contentCollection=U.S.&module=RelatedCoverage®ion=EndOfArticle&pgtype=article
Our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and their families and yet we may feel hopeless, as if there’s nothing we can do.

There are specific steps we can take to improve our chance of keeping our workplaces safe, however (and it’s important to remember that both the hotel and the concert venue were someone’s workplace).

Most workplace violence is not this horrific, of course, but leaders still need to take steps to make sure that it doesn’t happen.

A few years ago, post office employees were most likely to be victims of workplace violence. Surprisingly, the percentage of violent incidents in most industries is about the same as the post office. Why? Because there are more employees who work for the postal service than any other employer in the U.S., except the military. The good news about all the postal incidents is that they have been extensively studied and in every case, the perpetrator exhibited warning signs.

What follows is the list of these signs, although it’s important to remember that they are usually clustered, meaning that the perpetrators exhibited more than one sign:

WARNING SIGNS

Threatening and Disturbing Behavior
–  direct and indirect threats
–  mood swings, depression, bizarre statements, delusions of persecution
History of Violence
–  domestic violence, verbal abuse, antisocial activities
Romantic Obsession
–  beyond sexual attraction
–  victim may be unaware of degree of attraction
Alcohol or Drug Abuse
Deep Depression
–  self-destructive behavior
–  loners
–  unkempt physical appearance, despair, sluggish decision making
Pathological Blamer
–  accepts no responsibility for his or her actions
–  constantly blames co-workers, employer, government, the system
Impaired Ability to Function
–  poor impulse control
Elevated Frustration with Environment
Obsession with Weapons
–  ownership of gun or gun collection, combined with antisocial behavior
–  fascination with shooting skills or weapon-related activity
Personality Disorder
–  antisocial or borderline personality disorders
–  irritable, aggressive, often involved in disputes or fights with others
–  may steal or destroy property with little remorse
–  borderline personality shows moodiness, instability, impulsive action, easily agitated

What Should You Do?

While we may never know why the Vegas shooter did what he did, you should make sure that your leaders and employees:

  • receive training in preventing workplace violence;
  • take any threats seriously; and
  • are familiar with your policy about threats and violence and enforce the policy.

 Did You Know

Our harassment, management and conflict training all include sections on preventing threats and violence.

We also can customize stand alone training on preventing violence.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
 
Be sure to read Lynne’s book “The Power of a Good Fight” and learn to embrace conflict
to drive productivity, creativity and innovation.
      
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304