Month: October 2018

Newsletter – Do You Know How to Make Sure Your Leaders Avoid Megyn Kelly’s Fate?

 October 29, 2018

Do You Know How to Make Sure Your Leaders Avoid Megyn Kelly’s Fate?

 

In case you have missed the Megyn Kelly kerfuffle, the morning show host and former Fox News anchor was removed from NBC’s TODAY Show last week because she stated that she didn’t understand how wearing blackface for Halloween was inappropriate.
Many commentators howled in protest, pointing out that Kelly was not only a prominent television face but a lawyer who used to practice employment law. Perhaps some leaders could be forgiven for not understanding various diversity and inclusion issues, but someone in Kelly’s position of influence needs to make sure that she is educated about the historical context of behavior.

While most leaders would cringe at the blackface comment and the suggested costume, here is how to make sure that your leaders avoid a similar snafu.

What Should You Do?

  • Realize that diversity and inclusion is a process, not an event. You need to make a long-term commitment to continuing and effective education of your leaders and staff. One time is not enough.
  • Make sure your leaders understand intent versus impact. From a legal – and I would suggest values – perspective, your intent doesn’t matter. Saying that you meant this kind of costume as a “joke” doesn’t let you off the hook. What matters is the impact the behavior has on other people, not your innermost thoughts. Instead of dismissing the behavior as a joke, ask to be educated about why someone dislikes your behavior: listen and learn.
  • Encourage a culture of values and civility. Suggesting some people are “too sensitive” or too “PC” won’t create a culture that is respectful and productive. I always encourage my clients to discuss what is “correct” in a civilized organization, not what is “politically correct.
  • Encourage education, not blame and name calling. In today’s politically charged environment, where people sling labels like hash, take the high road. Diversity and inclusion can be complicated topics these days but labeling someone as a racist does not help them understand anything. Encourage a safe educational environment where people can discuss and learn about sensitive topics. What works is to discuss specific behavior and educate your leaders about why certain behavior is just not okay.
  • Coach leaders to issue appropriate apologies. Saying that you apologize if anyone was offended won’t cut it. That just puts the blame on the person receiving the behavior. Instead, issue a straightforward: “I was wrong.”

What Do You Think?

How do you educate your leaders about diversity and inclusion issues? What have you found works or does not work? Call or write us at 303-216-1020 or [email protected].

Did You Know

In addition to foundational classes on harassment and discrimination,
we also offer more advanced workshops on diversity and inclusion.

We are proud to practice what we preach by using a diverse staff of workshop leaders.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
Be sure to read Lynne’s book: The Power of a Good Fight and learn to embrace conflict to drive productivity, creativity and innovation.
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Do You Know Why Condescending and Demeaning Behavior Continues and What You Should Do?

October 22, 2018

Do You Know Why Condescending and Demeaning Behavior Continues and What You Should Do?

I spoke this month at the Association of Workplace Investigators annual conference in San Francisco on Team Rebuilding After an Investigation and was surprised to learn that the most popular part of the presentation was about condescending and demeaning behavior.

I briefly mentioned that many leaders are sent to us for executive coaching after an investigation. The investigation determines that there is no harassment or discrimination, but that the leader was condescending and demeaning and needs coaching on that behavior. As an aside, I mentioned that I had written blog posts about this issue if anyone wanted a copy. These blog posts are entitled:

What is Condescending or Demeaning Behavior and Why You Should Care and Curing Condescension: Why Leaders Should Never Ask Why

Surprisingly, I was mobbed after the presentation and online with participants wanting copies of these pieces. Why is this such a popular topic?

First, I believe it’s because those who engage in this behavior have no idea that they are dishing out comments that make others feel belittled. Their speech patterns feel like normal behavior to them and they don’t realize it’s a bad habit.

Second, no one calls them on their behavior. As I have written, these comments can be hard to describe and challenging to address. Those on the receiving end back off for fear they will just receive another demeaning comment in response such as “What? You’re that sensitive?” or “What are you talking about? I just call them like I see them.”

Be aware that this kind of behavior is not just annoying, but, if allowed to continue, can cross the line into bullying and eventually, harassment. If you are in California, for example, there is a state statute on bullying, requiring training on the subject, although it does not allow for private lawsuits. The statute is defined as: conduct in the workplace, with malice, that a reasonable person would find hostile, offensive and unrelated to an employer’s legitimate business interests.

What Should You Do?

Name the game. Especially if you are a leader, you have a responsibility to protect your people from this behavior. Don’t pretend that you don’t know or recognize what someone is doing.

Be skillful in your approach. Of course, you can always leave copies of my articles on someone’s desk anonymously(!). However, a better approach (although more challenging) is to find a quiet moment to speak with the person in private. Say something like: “I’m sure you don’t mean to be condescending and demeaning but when you say …… it doesn’t help create the kind of workplace we want to encourage here, nor is it effective feedback. A better way to get your point across is ……”

Keep at it. This kind of speech is a habit. Remind the person that they are doing it again when it comes up. Change may take time.

What Do You Think?

Do you have a condescending or demeaning boss or co-worker? Send us your comments at…. Call or write us at 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com.

Did You Know

We cover empathy in all of our management and leadership classes, as well as in individual sessions.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:

Be sure to read Lynne’s books “We Need to Talk: Tough Conversations with Your Employee”  and “We Need to Talk: Tough Conversations with Your Boss”
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Do You Know the Most Important Quality for a Leader?

 October 15, 2018

Do You Know the Most Important Quality for a Leader?

According to Pulitzer Prize winning author and historian Doris Kearns Goodwin in her newest book, Leadership: In Turbulent Times, which looks at several presidents who served during the most difficult years of our country, the most important characteristic for a leader is empathy. Not charisma, not decisiveness, not the ability to brainstorm creative solutions to problems, but empathy.

“…the most important characteristic for a leader is empathy.”

Her theory is that empathy is what makes people want to follow you. Without followers, there can be no leaders. That empathy, of course, may simply be a hat trick as opposed to any kind of authentic offering. Yet people respond to the idea that a leader cares what they think and feel, as anyone who has watched the movie Lincoln, based, in part on Goodwin’s book Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln, can attest.

I have written before about my experience giving presentations to Southwest Airlines and watching their co-founder Herb Kelleher relate to every employee in the room as an individual he cared for deeply.

He routinely remembered birthdays, weddings, graduations and other events and jumped into helping the baggage crew whenever they were struggling. Kelleher’s employees would follow him off a cliff.

What Should You Do?

How can you convince people that you care?

  • Listen. Don’t just lecture your crew; listen to them and incorporate their ideas whenever you can.
  • Be human. Most leaders assume that holding themselves above the crowd is the most successful approach, yet empathy starts with the recognition that we are all inhabiting the same earth and all feel similar emotions.
  • Remember. Certainly, observing appropriate boundaries is important and I never advocate getting too involved in fixing your staff’s personal lives, yet knowing about important milestones: births, deaths, illnesses – shows you care enough to keep track of what they are going through.
  • Develop your EQ. Most emotional intelligence assessments – we use EQi 2.0 – will help you gauge how much empathy you possess. Understanding your own ability to put yourself in others’ shoes will help you grow into becoming more empathetic.

What Do You Think?

Do you believe that empathy is the most important quality for a leader? Call or write us at 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com.

Did You Know

We cover empathy in all of our management and leadrship classes, as well as in individual sessions.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:

Be sure to read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk: Tough Conversations with Your Employee”
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – Do You Know How to Fail Here So You Don’t Fail There?

 October 8, 2018

Do You Know How to Fail Here So You Don’t Fail There?

In the new movie about Neil Armstrong, the first man to walk on the moon, First Man, Armstrong admonishes his crew that: “We need to fail. We need to fail down here so we don’t fail up there.”

The moon team is having equipment problems, everyone is scrambling to make the launch deadline and fretting that the rocket is not going to work. Armstrong calms them down by assuring them that failure is actually a good thing.

“The point is to fail now, 
when you are experimenting, 
instead of later when the stakes may be higher.”

The point is to fail now, when you are experimenting, instead of later when the stakes may be higher. If, for example, you are hiring a new assistant, can you devise a exercise that will test what an actual hour or two of his or her day would involve? Incoming emails, phone interruptions, competing projects and the like can be simulated to mimic a real slice of a day. You may think that the potential hire has a great personality and would be a perfect “fit” but if he fails the test, that will tell you more than your gut check (which is how most leaders hire). You may not be planning a moon launch but there is wisdom in Armstrong’s suggestion.

What Should You Do?

1)   Create simulations and test exercises before hiring, big presentations, and new client “pitches.”
2)   Be willing to experiment. Don’t get attached to one solution to a problem. Allow your people to brainstorm and fail with test projects.
3)   A Silicon Valley mantra is “fail fast”. Don’t berate your crew for failures, ask what they learned from their mistakes.
4)   We always require people to actually practice skills during our workshops. They moan and groan but we remind them that it is better to make a mistake in class than with an actual difficult employee conversation.

What Do You Think?

Have you learned from failures? Do you have ways of creating tests and allowing failures before launching a big project?

Did You Know

As a part of our management leadership classes, we require people to practice failing, as well as discussing what we can learn from mistakes.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:

Also, I will be speaking at the Association of Workplace Investigators in San Francisco, October 13. I would love to see you there.

Be sure to read Lynne’s book: The Power of a Good Fight and learn to embrace conflict to drive productivity, creativity and innovation. 
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – How You Can Avoid the Senate’s Kavanaugh Hearings Mistakes

 October 1, 2018

Stop Escalating Conflict With This Quick Step

 

Like most of the country, I watched mesmerized by the Senate hearings last week, concerning the allegations by Christine Blasey Ford against Brett Kavanaugh.

Because I frequently conduct investigations, however, I think that I watched a bit differently than most of the Nation. While I understand that what we were watching was political theater and not a workplace investigation, we can still learn three things from the Senate Judiciary Committee’s mistakes.

1)  First, an employer’s obligation during an investigation is to remain neutral. Theoretically, the Senate Judiciary Committee was conducting an elaborate job interview. What emerged, as a part of that interview, was a need for an investigation. Once you are in investigation mode, neutrality is the rule.
2)  Second, you have to decide credibility. Many workplace investigations involve he said/she said (or he said/he said, or she said/she said) allegations. As a part of the inquiry, you have to decide who you believe. You cannot just throw up your hands and decide that you cannot determine what happened because it’s a credibility tie. Courts and juries decide swearing contests every day. As an employer, you have to also. An experienced investigator, digging for the truth, can usually find other evidence to support one side or the other. As a part of credibility investigations, you have to look at motive. Does someone stand to gain by lying or not?

3)  Third, statements are evidence. I am frequently told that there is no evidence that something occurred. Witness statements, including those from the complainant and the accused, are evidence.

What Should You Do?

  • Hire experience.  An experienced investigator will know how to follow the three rules above.
  • Resist leaping to conclusions.  As a leader, remain calm and neutral. Take a deep breath and allow the investigation to run its course.
  • Understand the burden of proof.  Workplace investigations are not criminal trials where the standard of proof is beyond a reasonable doubt. With workplace investigations, you are working with a civil standard: a preponderance of the evidence. If you have a feather weight more evidence on one side than the other, that is the side you choose.

 For more tips on how to conduct full and fair workplace investigations, go to our website resources.

What Do You Think?

How have you dealt with issues of neutrality, credibility and evidence during investigations? Call or write us at  303-216-1020, [email protected].

Did You Know

Our sessions on conflict and effective conversations help guide you through the process.
Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:

Also, I will be speaking at the Association of Workplace Investigators in San Francisco, October 13. I would love to see you there.


Be sure to read Lynne’s book:  “We Need to Talk Tough Conversations With Your Employee”.
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304