Month: March 2020

The Three Best Ways to Use Remote Tools to Lead Your People Now

Working Remotely: With so many people working remotely, leadership is even more important. Whether you’ve managed remote teams for years or a month, now is the time to make sure you are using the best practices. Here’s my top three:

1) MAINTAIN THE HUMAN TOUCH: Science has now validated that we are wired for connection. With so many people working in social isolation, maintaining what you can of the human touch is critical.

2) GIVE YOUR PEOPLE THE RIGHT TOOLS: You may assume that everyone has a decent computer and high-speed internet but make sure your assumptions are correct. Especially if someone has a spouse, kids or a partner at home, their use of the network may slow everything down.

3) MAKE SURE YOU LEAD: Many people today are fearful, angry or sad about the current state of the world. Your job, as leader, is to be the ‘cheerleader in chief’ and provide realistic reassurance and inspiration.

What Should You Do?

1)  THE HUMAN TOUCH:  While you can’t – and shouldn’t! – provide physical touch right now, you can do the next best thing. Prefer phone conferences, Zoom or the like over just email or chat. If people can see and hear you and their colleagues, their energy level and mood will rise. Make sure that you use your best facilitation skills (or engage an outside facilitator) to encourage everyone to speak and to prevent someone from dominating the conversation. Let everyone know the agenda ahead of time so that the introverts on your team have a chance to think and to process what they want to share before the online meeting.

2)  THE RIGHT TOOLS: Make sure that you conduct a “no-fault” survey of your team so they know they have the tools, skills and other resources to fully participate online. Stand ready to provide training, software or equipment as needed. Now is the time to make sure that you equalize participation as much as possible.

3)  LEADERSHIP: I’m sure that you have your own struggles right now as you attempt to maintain optimism and energy. It’s likely, however, that your people may be feeling even lower than you. Look for resources to cheer them up and give them much-needed perspective. Pass along podcasts, books and online courses that raise their spirits; avoid sharing more news or scary statistics unless necessary.

Check out, for example, the recent On Being podcast with author Rebecca Solnit. In her book A Paradise Built in Hell, she shares the research and history from social scientists who study how people behave in the aftermath of disasters such as Hurricane Katrina. She finds that groups in general, as well as people in particular, end up cooperating, helping and thriving both during and after the event. People’s “better angels”, as Abraham Lincoln called them, always seem to swoop in to help. Most of these stories and statistics are never reported in the media.

As I wrote last week, there are all kinds of creative ways that leaders have found to encourage humorous and uplifting interactions online. Be sure to check out that Monday Memo.

While it’s a cliché, it’s also true that when winter comes, spring’s not far behind. Here’s a picture of the crocuses, for example, that sprang up in front of my house after last week’s snowstorm.

What Do You Think?

What creative ways have you found to lead your team remotely? Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Three Ways to Deal with Angry People!

Anger on the Rise.  People are snappish these days: dealing with the Coronavirus, the stock market slide and normal Monday madness. As a leader or an associate, you may have your hands full trying to cool the flames of workplace upsets.

Should We Ban Anger? You may be tempted to ban anger, to require everyone to ‘play well together’, in calm, respectful voices. As a workshop leader who teaches a lot of classes on civility and respect, I understand the urge. Yet the psychologists and social scientists who study anger caution otherwise. Decades of research and historical study show that anger is normal in almost all humans, in fact, studies show that most people are mildly to moderately angry anywhere from several times a day to several times a week. And, researchers have found, if handled correctly, anger can lead to an appropriate expression of grievances, increased listening, and beneficial change.

But Watch for Unfairness; it Leads to Revenge. Simply becoming angry doesn’t prompt a revenge impulse, argues Thomas Tripp, a professor of management and operations at Washington State University who has studied how revenge can affect the workplace. Tripp has found that revenge is much more common if there is “a sense that the fairness of institutions, what we call procedural justice, has broken down.” For example, when laid-off workers believed firings were handled fairly-that a process was adhered to, that seniority was respected, that worker evaluations were properly considered-they were less likely to protest or complain, even if they disagreed with the outcome.

Alternately, if workers believed that managers were playing favorites or manipulating the rule book, sabotage was more likely. “Think about presidential elections,” Tripp said. “Every four years, roughly half the nation is deeply disappointed. So why don’t they get out their pitchforks? Because as long as they believe it was a fair fight, they tolerate losing. But when both the process and the outcome seem unfair, that’s when we see riots.”

What Should You Do?

1. Seek First to Understand. As outlined above, everyone gets angry sometimes and anger can be channeled and appropriate. The first step is to understand why someone fusses, fumes or screams, especially if they do so at daily annoyances that the rest of us grin and bear. Is it a sense of unfairness or injustice? Or, they may also think that anger is empowering, and rage is a way of being assertive, even though when someone is constantly angry, they are assuming the “poor me” victim role. In most cases, anger is nothing more than an outward manifestation of a different underlying emotion: fear, hurt, frustration or a combination. Anger may also mask depression. So, the first step is to try and understand why your colleague is angry and treat them with compassion.
2. Set Appropriate Boundaries. Just because you’re trying to understand someone doesn’t mean that you should ever take abuse. If someone is truly abusive (not just expressing everyday anger), walk away; complain to your boss (or your boss’s boss) or HR; and document, document, document. Just be sure that you document behavior – specifically what they say or do – not your conclusions, assumptions, or biases about the person’s behavior. And if someone is exhibiting the warning signs of violence – run, don’t just walk, away.  Read more about violence in the workplace.
3. Confronting an Angry Person. Some ragers are like balloons full of hot air, you can just let them talk, talk, talk and eventually, they’ll run out of steam, calm down, and the balloon will fizzle. Otherwise, you need to confront the person with some version of the following:

“You did ___________” (Describe the behavior, what the person did or said.)

“When I objected to your behavior, you ignored me.” (Or yelled, and so on; describe what the person did or said.)

“I care about you and support you and I wish you success in our workplace but if we’re going to work together, you need to treat me and the other members of our team with respect.” (Set a boundary for the rager.)

“You hurt me (or them) when you said or did ______. It also resulted in us missing a deadline because Mary was so upset by your outburst that she had to go home and our assignment wasn’t completed.” (Describe the behavior and the effect of that behavior upon yourself, your colleagues, and the work itself.)

“I would hope this is something you’re not proud of. If you want to continue to stomp around with a frown on your face go ahead, but we’re going to work without you. (Outline consequences of repeating the behavior.)

“I respect your work and I want to have a good working relationship with you, but peace at any price is not peace at all. You owe me and the team an apology. I intend to give you the benefit of the doubt and move past this, but we’ve had our last heated argument and I’ve taken my last bit of abuse from you.” (Add a specific request and repeat that you won’t tolerate the behavior.)

Of course, this conversation must, must, must take place in person, not over email or text!

For more tips on dealing with anger in yourself and others, go to:
The Best Four Steps to Reduce Your Own Anger
Want Someone to Really Change? Don’t Scream

What Do You Think?

What tips do you have for dealing with angry co-workers? What’s worked or not worked? Call or write us at:  303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com\

How Much Influence Do You Have? More Than You Think

Stanley Milgram’s Famous Experiment:  One of the most famous psychology experiments of all time is when Milgram asked volunteers to inflict pain (an electric shock) on another volunteer in order to see who would agree with the “authority’s” requests and who would refuse, the so-called “obedience experiments.”  Volunteers were not told the purpose of the experiment: they were told, instead, that the test was about memory.

The common interpretation of this experiment is that most people would indeed deliver a painful shock to others if asked to do so by an authority figure. The student in the other room was actually an actor receiving no physical pain. The study created enormous controversy and purported to prove that people could be easily manipulated.

As we listen to the details of the research, we can’t help but wonder what we would do. Would we actually agree to inflict pain on a stranger?

But What Was the “Authority” Figure Thinking? Most of the commentators have asked about what the receivers of the instruction to inflict pain were thinking, not what the authority figures were feeling. More recent researchers have suggested that instead of asking how the world affects us, why not ask how we affect the world?  How did it feel to make these requests of strangers to inflict pain on others?

The Power of Rejection:  One explanation is the power of rejection: how most of us are afraid to be rejected and focus on that, as opposed to considering who might say “yes” to any request. For most of us, our perceptions of the influence we have on other people is wrong. We have a poor idea of our affect on others. We underestimate the influence we have over others and we overestimate how easy it is to say no to someone. This can lead to good or ill. History is, of course, full of examples of mass manipulation and where that can lead.

What Should You Do?

Understand Your Power: We tend to focus on our own anxiety instead of that of others, what psychologists call “an egocentric bias.” The people who ask us for favors are not gods, we may forget that we have the power to say no. In current experiments following up on Milgram, volunteers doubled their estimates of the number of people they would have to ask for a favor over the actual reality.

Think About How the Recipient’s Feel: Obviously, as an ethical leader, you don’t want to be asking your associates to do anything that’s illegal, immoral or fattening. Yet you may be surprised to know how many of your requests will be granted.

Researchers have learned that we tend to avoid situations where we’ll be asked to do something (such as give money), yet if we’re asked on the spot, we’re much more likely to say yes. Surprisingly, people may even agree to something unethical because they’re too uncomfortable to say no. 

Avoid Egocentric Bias: There’s a vast gulf between what we think we would do if someone requested something and what we would actually do. The social anxiety in rejecting a request is so strong that we are frequently shocked at how we would respond to what someone asks. In the workplace, for example, bullies and harassers may not even realize how they affect others because of egocentric bias; they may assume that people can say no to what they’re asking. The power of this influence explains a lot about why people may be reluctant to say no to romantic requests.

For more information on the power of persuasion, go to Workplaces That Work Monday Memos.

What Do You Think?

When you ask someone to do something, what do you focus on: how they feel or how you feel? Call or write us at:  303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

The Top Two Things Keeping Your CEO Up at Night and Why You Should Care

The Latest:  According to a new survey conducted by Conference Board, for the second year in a row, the top worries for CEOs are: 1) fears of a recession; and 2) attracting and retaining top talent. Read about the survey results.

While you may not be able to impact the first fear, everyone in your workplace can impact the second.

Why This Fear Now? Due to historic labor shortages, finding and keeping the best talent remains the key to success for any organization. I have yet to see a company that boasted good customers without good employees.

Why is This Your Problem? You may grumble that you’re not the CEO and you have your own problems, so who cares if they’re up at night worrying? But the reality is recruitment and retention are your problem also. If you want a higher salary, bonus or stock options, the success of your organization depends upon the talent you have and keep.

What Should You Do?

Keep Your Boss Happy: No matter what your job, the bottom line is that helping your own boss be successful will always impact your success. If you find out what your own leader is worrying about, you can make sure that you help impact their achievements. If you do so, your own fortunes will improve.

Help with Recruitment and Retention: In most workplaces, the most successful new hires are those who knew someone who already worked for the organization. Therefore, many companies pay various kinds of referral bonuses. Even if your organization does not offer such a bonus, you’ll be noticed if your referral pans out. Even if you don’t refer a new person, working well with colleagues always helps with retention and contributes to reducing the rate of turnover.

What Gets Measured Gets Done:  If you’re a manager, keep track of your own turnover rates. If you’re a leader of other managers, keep track of their turnover. While you may believe that who stays or goes is out of your hands due to external factors, you’ll be surprised to find that you can impact the result if you keep track. Keeping track is the first – and sometimes the best – way to make sure you reduce turnover. Once you start watching the numbers, new ideas will come to you about how to keep your best people.

Want more ideas about recruitment and retention?

Want to Hire the Best? Ask THIS Question 
Do You Know What Hiring Technique Really Works? 
How to Keep the Ones You Love: The Number One Retention Strategy

What Do You Think?

What the best way to impact recruitment and retention? Call or write us at:  303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com