Month: December 2020

Cutting Gossip and Cross Talk: What Should You Do?

WHY STRAIGHT TALK MATTERS: If we are honest, we all like a bit of gossip to spice up our days – if it is not about us! Even in an age of non-stop Zoom meetings, I find that leaders complain that their staff wastes too much time chatting, emailing, and phoning about what is going on in the organization. While some of this talk can be productive, much of the time may be spent spreading rumors, complaining to third parties, or ignoring productive solutions to real workplace issues.

TRIANGULATION: In my book, The Power of a Good Fight — I call this kind of talk triangulation strangulation. What I mean is that the conversation stagnates, because people are focused on blame, criticism, and finger-pointing, instead of solutions.

THE HARM OF GOSSIP: Cross talk frequently damages an organization by spreading false information, causing inefficiencies, and damaging reputations. Eventually, this behavior can poison cooperation and create a toxic culture.

For more ideas on gossip at work go to my Monday Memo Do You Know How and Why to Stop Gossip in Your Workplace?

What Should You Do?

REFUSE TO TOLERATE GOSSIP: If you are a leader, clarify your stance on gossip; insist that your staff address issues directly to the person or group with the power to solve a problem. If someone is complaining to you about another associate, insist that they speak to the first person before you will listen to their complaint. If you’re not in a leadership position, refuse to participate in gossip, change the conversation or simply ask: Have you spoken to ….. about this issue?

NAME THE GAME: If someone is avoiding a challenging conversation with you by speaking to a third party, make sure that you address that behavior with the rumor spreaders.

State: It has come to my attention that you have spoken to B about me and issue X. 

Ask: Is there anything that I’ve said or done that’s making it hard for you to speak to me directly? Is there anything that I could say or do that would make it easier to speak with me directly?

WATCH YOUR OWN SPEECH: Buddhists talk about “right speech”, the idea that our words alone can cause harm. Be sure that you model straight talk yourself and go directly to the source to solve problems. Encourage productive – not unproductive – conflict.

Did You Know

These and other meeting ideas are addressed in all our leadership and management workshops – live and online.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Coaching and webinars on these and other management and leadership topics can all be delivered virtually.

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Read Lynne’s book “The Power of a Good Fight” and learn to embrace conflict to drive productivity, creativity and innovation

Do You Know the Coaching Tool for Success?

THE GOTTMAN EXPERIMENTS: The psychologist John Gottman found fame as a marriage therapist who conducted experiments with married couples. In his “Love Lab”, Gottman observed couples going about their daily lives: talking, cooking, cleaning, and most importantly, fighting. With his system, he could predict with more than 90% accuracy which couples would be able to stay married.

THE FIVE TO ONE RATIO: One of his most important findings was the five to one ratio. A partner needed to offer five positive comments to counter one critical or negative comment for the relationship to survive and thrive. While I am not aware of any similar workplace research, my experience with coaching, facilitation, and other interventions has found the same to be true in work environments.

DOING SOMETHING GOOD: One standard bit of management advice suggests that leaders should “catch their staff doing something good.” Again, I would agree that leaders who obtain the most from their teams have learned this basic lesson. If they acknowledge and reward positive deeds, rather than constantly carping, their people blossom. Of course, every leader must also correct and coach behavior that does not meet their standards. But there’s a right and a wrong way to offer feedback, read “Want to Make Sure Your Feedback is Heard? Here’s How”,one of many of my articles that address this issue.

What Should You Do?

KEEP TRACK OF YOUR RATIO: Because what gets measured gets done, make sure to keep track of how many times you offer positive rewards instead of criticism or negativity.

STAY ALERT: If you are working on site, make sure that you get out of the office and wander around so that you can catch your staff exhibiting positive behaviors. Working remotely makes observation more challenging, of course, but you can still watch how people handle Zoom or other video calls, write quick and/or articulate emails, and so on.

STAY INSPIRED: In order to inspire others, we all need to stay inspired ourselves – not an easy task these days. One of the best sources I have found recently is The Antidote , (make sure that you type “The” into your search or voice commands or you will end up in a strange place) a documentary about Americans around the country who have contributed in a positive way. Keep tissues handy; guaranteed to lift your spirits.

Made in response to the times we are living in, THE ANTIDOTE is a feature documentary that weaves together stories of kindness, decency, and the power of community in America.

What’s the Most Important Thing on Your “To Do” List?

THINKING: Years ago, when I was a partner in a law firm, I received a phone call from a client. “Lynne,” he said, “I have a problem with your bill.” These are not words that any attorney ever wants to hear from a client. “OK,” I gulped, expecting the worst.

“I love all the detail, the codes, 0.3 hours for this activity, 0.2 for that, but you leave out the most important thing that I pay you for. THINKING! You never have thinking on the time you spend on my issues.”

What Should You Do?

TIME FOR WHAT’S IMPORTANT: Most of us have work that requires thought yet we may fail to carve out time for that activity. If you’re like me, you start every week with a “to-do” list that’s so long you just want to take a nap after completing the inventory. Here’s an ideal schedule suggestion that works for me:

1. I try to start my days with exercise and meditation, since I can’t think, work, or play well unless I’m healthy. Luckily, I live in Boulder where I can hike on a trail right outside my door or swim year-round in a saltwater pool at my athletic club.
2. After raising my spirits and adjusting my attitude with those activities, I land in the office and try to think first: before email, phone, or the “to-do” list. Thinking may also involve writing projects such as these Monday Memos, a book I’m working on, a new workshop, or an investigation report.
3. Next, I do look at emails and return phone calls if they are from clients or some other urgent matter, but I try to limit these kinds of activities to one hour or less. No, I do not check out social media except for LinkedIn postings once a week.
4. The next block of two to three hours involves investigation interviews, coaching calls, or webinars.

5.  Lastly, I try to plow through the endless list of what my assistant calls “nits”: scheduling appointments, filling out forms, paying bills, and the like. I limit this activity to one to two hours, or I feel drained of all sanity and energy.

For more ideas on how to prioritize your time and energy go to www.workplacesthatwork.com.

Have you tried the tool of daily questions? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Stop! Why the Best Meeting May Be No Meeting

NO MEETINGS: Recent research from Stanford indicates the best meeting may be: no meeting! Researchers found that more new and better ideas were generated without meetings than with meetings.

IF YOU MUST MEET: Put some time into making sure that your meetings are effective. There is both an art and a science to running a good meeting. Since most of us sit through so many, we should endeavor to make sure that they are productive.

LEARN FROM THE PROS: Leaders who receive high marks from those who must sit through their meetings have learned a few things about what works. Here’s some simple ways to make meetings better or not have them at all.

Especially in an age of Zoom fatigue, we can all use fewer screen meetings with no real purpose or outcome. 

What Should You Do?

PREPARE: Most leaders know that meetings should have an agenda and that you should encourage people to prepare in advance, but what’s the most effective tool? Long memos sent in advance may rarely be read. Instead, encourage people to send you short videos or visuals before the meeting that address their thoughts and ideas on the meeting agenda. That way, you can limit the meeting to brainstorming effectively or making decisions.

LIMIT TIME, ATTENDEES, AND FREQUENCY: Research has shown that meetings are unlikely to succeed if there are more than eight attendees. Likewise, our average attention span is eighteen minutes. After that, people zone out and productivity diminishes. If you must include more people, structure break-out groups for smaller numbers. If you have mastered preparation, eighteen minutes should be enough. If you need more time, schedule breaks or weekly meetings until you meet your goals.

UPDATE LOCALES AND ACTIVITIES: The tech world has made stand-up meetings famous and indeed, research has shown that people are more energized and productive in those kinds of events. Perhaps consider a stand-up Zoom meeting? Outdoor meetings around a fire pit, walks or hikes may also get us through this dark time. Even in winter weather, invite participants to bundle up and come along (with masks, of course). The famously optimistic and productive Norwegians train their children from an early age to run outside for all kinds of activities – even in winter — and the adults follow along.

“NO MEETING” DAYS: If you have the authority, schedule “no meeting” days for your teams. Research has shown that allowing people to work — especially on new or creative endeavors – without interruptions may lead to breakthroughs.

For more ideas on how to have productive meetings and make decisions collectively, go to www.workplacesthatwork.com.

What Do You Think?

Have you tried the tool of daily questions? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

We Thought It Was a Sprint, Now We Know It’s a Marathon: How Do You Help People Cope?

COVID FATIGUE: Of course, back in the ancient time of last March, we all thought it would be over soon, didn’t we? A March lockdown of two, three or four weeks, sure, we could cope. But then, of course, it’s gone on and on and on. As we prepare for more possible lockdowns and stay-at-home orders, how does a weary world begin to cope?

LEADING THROUGH THE COVID STORM: I have previously written in a recent Monday Memo, about how we are all grieving the loss of the life we had, and, for some of us, the loss of jobs, businesses and loved ones. In addition to that, however, we now seem to have sunk into a collective depression because of the endless nature of the Covid fight. If you are a leader, of course, you not only have to manage your own emotions and motivations, but those you lead also.

TIPS FROM ULTRA-ATHLETES:  Saturday’s New York times article “Strengthen Mental Stamina Like the Pros” suggests a surprising source of inspiration for the road ahead: endurance athletes.

“There’s a special kind of exhaustion that the world’s best endurance athletes embrace. Some call it masochistic, others may call it brave. When fatigue sends legs and lungs to their limits, they are able to push through to a gear beyond their pain threshold. These athletes approach fatigue not with fear but as a challenge, an opportunity.”

In the Covid race, we have all become endurance athletes. We are running a race with no clear finish line: tired, angry, and maybe even ready to give up. What do these athletes know that we don’t, and what can we learn from them?

What Should You Do?

KNOW YOUR OWN STRENGTH: Like Gayle Gadot in Wonder Woman, these experts on endurance emphasize that we are all stronger than we think we are and more flexible than we ever imagined. As a leader, especially, you need to encourage your people to know and understand their own gifts.

PACE YOURSELF: Endurance athletes learn that they can’t blow all their energy early in the run, game or trek but must hold things in reserve or they will never make it through the marathon event. Similarly, leaders who work 24/7 will burn out, especially in this time of constant change. Try to keep

SET SMALL GOALS THAT YOU CAN CONTROL: These super stars learn how to set mini-goals that they know they can make. Similarly, if you try to see too far ahead in a world full of chaos, you will only create more stress for yourself and those you lead. In addition, make sure that your goals are ones that you can control: making a difficult phone call, writing a speech, or filling out an evaluation. If you set goals where others control the outcome, you will only add to your frustration.

STRUCTURE YOUR DAY: It’s easy to drift these days, especially if you are working at home without a set schedule. Creating and keeping a schedule, however, can lead to athletic, professional, and personal success.

ADD SOMETHING NEW: Just as we can become bogged down with constant change, we can be worn down by doing the same thing every day. When athletes are injured or in lockdown, their trainers try to get them to try some new physical activity, frequently leading to new gains in endurance or agility.

What Do You Think?

Have you found new ways to lead or work during the pandemic?  Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com