Newsletter – Do You Know How to Change Someone’s Mind?

Most leaders experience ample opportunities to practice their persuasion skills. Surprisingly, however, in my experience, most have no clue what really works. Many times they lecture individuals or groups with broad abstractions, trying to convince them to follow their lead.

When leaders speak about new visions during change, for example, they are frequently frustrated because their staff doesn’t seem to understand or adopt their message. What the research shows, is that employees know what the new direction will be and can articulate the change well. The information they want, however, has to do with specifics: what resources will be available for them to navigate the new endeavor.

Similarly, when leaders want to change someone’s mind about company values or policies, they lecture or argue. What works instead is individual stories or asking questions and listening. For hard science on this method, listen to this podcast For Your Reconsideration  from the always amusing This American Life.

 

 What Should You Do?

• Ask what’s in it for them? If you can’t articulate the specific benefits of how this change will help them or how they are going to navigate the change, you will lose your audience.
• Use stories. Stories move people more than abstractions. The best stories come from your own life experience but if you don’t have one, beg or borrow one. Just be sure you protect attribution and anonymity, if applicable.
• Ask questions and listen. Research shows that people trust answers that they come to on their own. If you know someone has strong opinions that you want to change, ask how they arrived at that opinion. Listen to their answers. Use open ended questions that begin with who, what, where, when to draw people out.
• Meet with them in person. Research from political campaigns shows that people trust politicians more when they meet them in person. If you have a large span of control as a leader, of course, it may be difficult to meet with them each individually but take every opportunity to do so.