Do You Know the Coaching Tool for Success?

Do You Know the Coaching Tool for Success?

THE GOTTMAN EXPERIMENTS: The psychologist John Gottman found fame as a marriage therapist who conducted experiments with married couples. In his “Love Lab”, Gottman observed couples going about their daily lives: talking, cooking, cleaning, and most importantly, fighting. With his system, he could predict with more than 90% accuracy which couples would be able to stay married.

THE FIVE TO ONE RATIO: One of his most important findings was the five to one ratio. A partner needed to offer five positive comments to counter one critical or negative comment for the relationship to survive and thrive. While I am not aware of any similar workplace research, my experience with coaching, facilitation, and other interventions has found the same to be true in work environments.

DOING SOMETHING GOOD: One standard bit of management advice suggests that leaders should “catch their staff doing something good.” Again, I would agree that leaders who obtain the most from their teams have learned this basic lesson. If they acknowledge and reward positive deeds, rather than constantly carping, their people blossom. Of course, every leader must also correct and coach behavior that does not meet their standards. But there’s a right and a wrong way to offer feedback, read “Want to Make Sure Your Feedback is Heard? Here’s How”,one of many of my articles that address this issue.

What Should You Do?

KEEP TRACK OF YOUR RATIO: Because what gets measured gets done, make sure to keep track of how many times you offer positive rewards instead of criticism or negativity.

STAY ALERT: If you are working on site, make sure that you get out of the office and wander around so that you can catch your staff exhibiting positive behaviors. Working remotely makes observation more challenging, of course, but you can still watch how people handle Zoom or other video calls, write quick and/or articulate emails, and so on.

STAY INSPIRED: In order to inspire others, we all need to stay inspired ourselves – not an easy task these days. One of the best sources I have found recently is The Antidote , (make sure that you type “The” into your search or voice commands or you will end up in a strange place) a documentary about Americans around the country who have contributed in a positive way. Keep tissues handy; guaranteed to lift your spirits.

Made in response to the times we are living in, THE ANTIDOTE is a feature documentary that weaves together stories of kindness, decency, and the power of community in America.