 March 4, 2019
A Surefire Way to Get People to Get People to Listen
ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? This is the proverbial lament — not only of mothers — but of leaders in most workplaces. We think we are communicating in a direct, clear way, but somehow, what gets through to the other party doesn’t always compute.
LISTENING TO RESOLVE CONFLICT. We all like to think we are good listeners but the truth is, most of us are NOT. I do a listening assessment when we teach conflict management and leadership skills and most people flunk. It’s no wonder that the world is full of unresolved disputes.
WHY MAKING SURE YOUR STAFF IS LISTENING MATTERS. Leaders tend to talk, talk, talk and assume that someone is listening. Frequently, however, they are not. They have more important things on their mind, such as what to have for lunch, the cute guy or gal who is sitting in the next cube, and whether their new boss is a jerk. If you don’t know if the message has been received, all that chatter is for naught.
What Should You Do?
Here’s the way out of this conundrum:
Pick Your Time, Place and Tone. Right before lunch, for example, when most people’s blood sugar is low, is NOT a good time. Similarly, after 5:00 pm, if your staff is used to fleeing when the whistle blows, is also a mistake. If possible, let them know ahead of time that you need to meet and give them the idea of the agenda. If it’s bad news or a complete surprise, they may be so shocked they won’t hear most of what you are saying. Meet in private; follow the classic management mantra: praise in public, criticize in private. Realize that some people may react to your intensity and stop being able to listen. If you are delivering bad news, take a deep breath, lean back, lower your voice and clasp your hands.
State Your Truth and Then Ask for Listening Confirmation.
- An employee’s first day. Starting from the first day onward, let new people know of your expectations, objectives and find out theirs. Then send them off with instructions to email you back with their understanding of what you said.
- What they hear. Prepare to be depressed. In most situations, you will notice that what you said is not the message received. This gives you a chance to correct their misconceptions, prove you are being fair, and provides a time-sensitive documentation trail.
- Throughout the year. After that first meeting, use regular one-on-ones, perhaps once a week or maybe once a month, depending upon your schedule, and speak in a matter-of-fact way about what is working and what is not working. Again, ask the associate to email back to you their understanding of what you said. Again, you will think human communication is hopeless. But if you do this continually, your communication skills will improve as will their listening skills.
- The performance review advantage. Most managers loathe performance reviews, but this method provides you with a year’s worth of documentation and – hooray! – your staff has done all the work – not legally required, but it will save you a world of hurt.
What Do You Think?
Have you mastered the art of persuading people to listen? Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
 Did You Know
We teach listening and persuasion skills in all our management and leadership classes.
Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
www.workplacesthatwork.com
Be sure to read Lynne’s book “The Power of a Good Fight” and learn effective listening and communication skills.
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