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Why Use Consensus?   Most of our clients who use consensus do so because of the belief that going through the consensus process creates buy-in. They also believe that the process increases creativity and allows all voices to be heard.

But the Problem is Time!   Most leaders who want to use consensus vastly underestimate the amount of time building consensus will take. Consequently, some participants will simply give up and agree to anything to escape the meeting.

The Earl Warren Problem.  In the landmark decision Brown vs. Board of Education, Chief Justice Earl Warren (Warren was a President Eisenhower appointee. Eisenhower called him the worst decision of his presidency). Warren knew that unanimity would be important in untangling the web of racial segregation in schools. He spent the five months between arguments and the issuance of the historic 9 to 0 vote repeatedly gathering the Justices to discuss the issues. He took one justice to lunch 20 times in order to gain his agreement. The case changed the course of history and highlighted Warren’s remarkable leadership. Consider whether you would be willing to invest the same amount of time and effort to build consensus on your issue?

What Should You Do?  

Make Sure Consensus is Appropriate. When the stakes are high and you need the buy-in of all your people, consensus may be worth the time and trouble.

Focus on Needs and Interests, Not Positions. People usually arrive with an idea of what they think should happen, or their position. Try to uncover their underlying needs and interests.

Use a Facilitator. An experienced facilitator can save you a world of hurt. They can help you frame the issues and move people through them. In addition, it’s challenging to serve as both a neutral facilitator and a participant.

Conduct a Written Survey. Meetings favor the outgoing orators of the group. They may or may not have the best ideas. A written survey allows people who like to think before they speak to consider the issues and frame their response.

Form Subgroups. If the issues are complex, you can form subgroups to deal with each one. An especially useful strategy is to combine warring parties into one group. If they can come up with a solution, the rest of the team will frequently follow along.

Allow Enough Time. Consensus takes much more time on the front end but may save you time on the back end. If you – or another leader – cram down a decision, people may grudgingly agree but drag their feet or sabotage implementation.

One Reason We Make Bad Decisions:  New and fascinating research sheds light on one reason we all make bad decisions: the scarcity trap. This phenomenon affects nearly everything in our lives and connects people who appear to have nothing in common: those of us who don’t have enough money, time, resources, friends or food. When we’re in scarcity, the thing we think we need can become the only thing that matters to us. I highly recommend a recent story on NPR’s Hidden Brain podcast about this research — You 2.0: Tunnel Vision.

The Tunnel Restricts Our View:  When we have scarcity and it creates a scarcity mindset, it leads us to behaviors that, in the short term, help us manage scarcity, but in the long term only make matters worse. This type of scarcity is almost like an alarm that goes off in the head that’s saying: “Hey, we REALLY need this thing addressed. We REALLY need this thing addressed.” We lack long-term strategic thinking and focus only on what we perceive to be the immediate crisis.

Our Brains Narrows Our Focus:  When we feel that something important is missing in our life, our brain starts to focus on that missing thing. When we’re desperate for something, we can focus on it so obsessively, there’s no room for anything else. From an evolutionary perspective, the human brain is wired to respond to scarcity by tunneling in on the thing that’s missing. If our ancestors needed food, for example, tunnel vision helped them focus all their efforts on finding nutrition and those who did that, survived.

Mental Bandwidth: In tech terms, it’s called bandwidth. If we’re downloading a movie on our home Wi-Fi, for example, we may not have the bandwidth for anything else. Lack somehow changes our minds, and, researchers have found, can even lower how we perform on an IQ test.

When something we desperately need is in short supply, our brain tends to focus on that thing. This focus can be so intense that it impedes our ability to think about anything else.

What Should You Do?  

Recognize the Trap:  If you’re feeling desperate about something: lack of competent employees, a conflict with another leader, not enough time, realize that your perspective might be distorted.

Avoid Tunnel Vision:  While the psychological studies into scarcity and bandwidth are relatively new, the solutions are ancient. Avoid tunnel vision. Keep difficult things in one part of your life from contaminating everything else. Be present. Utilize mindfulness techniques. Exercise. Spend time with friends and family.

Try To Make Parts of Your Life “Mistake Proof”:  When we’re inside the tunnel, we make mistakes because we make bad decisions and we miss attending to responsibilities that are not inside the tunnel. Researchers think we should respond to these mistakes the same way we respond to mistakes made by airline pilots. There was a time when we thought that airline pilots who made mistakes were just bad pilots. A big reason air travel has become safer in recent decades is that there has been a shift in thinking. Designers have made cockpits fault-tolerant. Rather than trying to find perfect pilots, cockpits are now designed to account for human error. The goal is to alert pilots when they’ve made a mistake and to diminish the consequences of mistakes.

Surround Yourself with Perspective Supporters:  Find people — inside and outside of work — who can call you on your tunnel vision, who can remind you when you’re lacking the 30,000-foot view. Ask for their perspective and take the time to listen to their advice.

For further information about decision making and problem solving read:

Want to Bullet Proof Decision Making? Here’s How
Decisions! Decisions! How Objective Are You Really?
Are You Asking the Right Question? Problem Solving as Problem Reframing

We Need To Talk:  If you want to strike fear in the heart of your staff (or your spouse or partner!), just say: “we need to talk.” Most leaders walk in without having a well thought out idea about what they want to say.

Avoiding Tough Conversations:  We all have excuses for avoiding tough conversations: lack of time, lack of energy, fear of losing a friend or starting a fight, and lawsuit paranoia. None of these excuses will save you when faced with an employee who needs you.

Your Staff Needs You:  Yes, employees need you. New employees or employees who are having performance issues need frequent – preferably daily – contact with you. All the research on younger workers (the so-called Generation X or Y or Millennial Generations) points to the idea that the best and brightest of that group have been raised by parents, teachers and coaches who constantly gave them feedback and coaching. They expect, need, and thrive on it. While someone from an older generation might resent all this intrusion, others will most likely expect your “face time” (or phone time, if you’re managing remotely) – and feel neglected if they don’t get it.

The Power of Scripts:  To soothe your own anxiety before approaching a tough conversation, don’t overlook the power of scripts to help you do it correctly.

What Should You Do?  

Write Out Scripts: Yes, I’m serious. Before you walk into a meeting with a staff member who is having performance or other issues, write out what you’re going to say. This will help you feel more prepared, lessen your own nervousness and help you be more skillful.

Seek Help: Talk to your HR rep or other conflict expert, read books on difficult conversations, or speak to another leader you admire to help you prepare. Most people avoid difficult conversations, so there’s no shame in seeking assistance. Workplace studies have shown that few things affect an employee’s performance, loyalty to the organization, or desire to stay, more than his or her relationship with their immediate boss. It’s well worth the time and effort to make sure that yours is a good one.

Consider This Sample Script: Here’s an example of a sample script for an employee with performance issues:

GRACE: Terry, I need to talk to you about your performance.

TERRY: Yes?

GRACE: You don’t seem to be meeting your daily goals anymore. (States the problem clearly.) I’m wondering what’s going on from your perspective? (Asks open-ended questions).

TERRY: I don’t know. I just don’t seem to have any enthusiasm anymore.

GRACE: I see that. What do you think would make that change?

TERRY: I’m not really sure what to do.

GRACE: Well, we need to find a way to help you improve. Is there any part of your job that you enjoy?

TERRY: I don’t like many cold calls at all anymore. What I do like is the follow-up calls for existing customers.

GRACE: Interesting. Well, here’s what I’d like you to do. Keep a log all week of which activities you do that help increase your enthusiasm and which do not. I’d like to find out what gives you energy at work. (Checking for strengths mismatch). Here’s a form I’ve used in the past for this kind of analysis. I’m not sure that we can meet your needs with this job, but as a first step, I’d like to find out where you’re at.

TERRY: Great, I’ll try it.

For more information about how to have difficult conversations and resolve conflict, read these helpful tips:

Difficult Conversations: How NOT to Get Them on Your Side
How to Tackle a Tough Conversation by Breaking it Down
Want to Resolve a Conflict Fast? Here’s How to Settle a Dispute Like Herb Kelleher
What’s the Surprising and Most Effective Way to Resolve Conflict at Work?
Stop Escalating Conflict With This Quick Step

A good interview is both an art and a skill.  Most hiring leaders never develop both. The awful truth is that 50% of new hires don’t work out.

Why new hires don’t work.  The number one reason, in my experience, is that they’re not a good “fit” for the culture. Now, when my clients label someone a bad fit, it always makes me nervous since that word can be used to limit the opportunities of employees who are different in some way: gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation and so on. I’m talking, however, about something deeper than these superficial differences.

The real reason for hiring failures.  The biggest problem in recruiting and retaining the best is that the leaders in the organization itself don’t really understand their own culture and values and therefore, can’t select employees who might be a great match. Hiring the best requires identifying what success means in the organization, studying which employees create the most success, and then selecting new employees who match that criteria. Unfortunately, this isn’t a superficial and easy process.

What Should You Do?  

In the meantime, you need to fill vacancies. While you’re taking a deeper dive into what your culture is really about — what works and who succeeds — ask this question of potential hires:

What was your biggest accomplishment so far in your career?

Follow up with the details. Make sure that you dig down into the reasons they view that accomplishment as the best: why they liked the assignment, how they were managed, parts of the project that they liked or didn’t like, how they measured their own success on the project and so on. These details will contain a treasure trove of information about the potential hire, more than any other question you could ask.

Of course, follow all the other good hiring practices. You should, for example, ask all of your interviewees the same questions, following an interview script so that you don’t discriminate by asking some candidates inappropriate questions but not others.

For more information about good hiring and retention practices, read my articles on these important topics:

Do You Know What Hiring Technique Really Works? 
Attracting and Keeping the Best Employees: What Really Works
Do You Know the Four Most Important Words to Retain Your Best People?
How to Keep the Ones You Love: The Number One Retention
Measuring and Tracking: Recruiting and Retention Success

What Do You Think?

What are the best hiring questions you’ve discovered? Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

A useful workplace term? The short answer, in the workplace, is no. Putting aside whether the word should be used as a part of the current political and media debate, my experience in the workplace is that flinging that word around doesn’t help anything.

Warring definitions. Everyone has their own definition of what the term racist means. Politicians this week fussed and fumed about how and when to use the word, as did various media outlets. Contributing editor Ben Zimmer summarized in The Atlantic on July 17, the long history of the dictionary definition of the term.

Even Merriam-Webster joined the fray, tweeting their definition of the word. As the debate intensified, the dictionary added a tweet (who knew dictionaries could tweet?) with the usage notes to the racism entry, which counsels that “when discussing concepts like racism…it is prudent to recognize that quoting from a dictionary is unlikely to either mollify or persuade the person with whom one is arguing.” My sentiments exactly.

People become positioned. At work, using this word simply sends the quarreling parties to their corners, from which they are unlikely to return. Once there, they remain and dig in. People rarely agree that they are racist. On the other side, the users of the word refuse to back down from suggesting that the offending party is indeed racist. No one agrees and nothing is resolved. The argument continues over what that word means and whether the behavior meets the term’s definition.

What Should You Do?  

As a leader, avoid being pulled into the debate. Instead of arguing about whether someone’s behavior is racist, focus instead on the whether the behavior is correct under the law, your policy and your organization’s values. It’s much harder to dismiss these standards.

Investigate what was actually said or done. Before issuing your own opinion, make sure that your lawyers or your HR leaders have done a fair and thorough investigation of the facts. Many conflicts arise without taking this step, leading to arguments with no agreement about what behavior the dispute is actually about.

Read more about how to conduct investigations correctly in the following Monday Memos:

Bryan Williams’ Investigation and How To Do Investigations Right

Important News About Confidentiality in Workplace Investigations

Focus on a specific behavior. No one can know what is in another person’s heart or mind. Labeling someone rarely leads to effective resolution or the desired change of behavior. After an investigation, we can determine what they have said or done. At that point, you can decide whether the behavior is acceptable under the law, your policy or your values.

Focus on education. Once you decide whether a violation has occurred and whether the offending party or parties will be terminated, you can educate your staff. Focus on future behavior if the party(s) will remain employed, instead of making them feel bad or wrong. Make sure that your education efforts support the whole team, even if not everyone participated in the behavior. Frequently, the only reason that behavior has continued is that the culture of a workplace turned a blind eye. Educate managers and co-workers to intervene.

For more articles on this topic, go to:

Is That a Racist Remark? What You Need to Know as a Leader 

Want to Stop Racism? Start With Yourself

What Do You Think?

How do you handle this issue? What has worked? Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

LAUGHING RATS:  Okay, I know humans are not (usually) rats, but significant laboratory studies on rats suggest that laughter may be a key to reducing aggression. The old phrase that “laughter is the best medicine” could be useful in defusing conflict and preventing the rise to more aggressive conduct such as bullying, harassment or worse.

Rats, it turns out, laugh at such a high pitch that we can’t hear the sounds with human ears. They also tend to “laugh” with this sound when they want to be tickled, and the more often that baby rats were tickled, the more they will “ask” to be tickled as adults.

WHY WE LAUGH:  In the early 1990’s, neuroscientist Robert Provine and colleagues conducted a study to find out what sparked laughter in conversations. Some of the “hilarious” phrases that prompted laughter 80-90% of the time included:

“I’ll see you guys later.”

“It was nice meeting you, too.”

“I see your point.”

“Look, it’s Andre!”

It turns out, Provine posits, that laughter is more of a social construct than a clever turn of phrase. People respond to other people when they laugh, not necessarily the situation or context. We use laughter to communicate agreement or fondness, not necessarily the best joke or performance.

THE MEANING OF LAUGHTER:  Sophie Scott is a neuroscientist at University College London who studies how the brain processes laughter and she believes that we should take laughter seriously.

What Should You Do?  

What’s Your Moonshot? Here’s What Leaders Can Learn From Apollo 11

WHERE WERE YOU DURING THE LANDING?  If you were alive and over the age of 8, you probably remember where you were on July 20, 1969, when we held our collective breath, along with an estimated 650 million people worldwide, as our Apollo 11 crew approached the moon.

 THE FINAL 12 MINUTES:  While we have focused on Armstrong and Aldrin as heroes, an astounding 400,000 people backed them up as engineers, control commanders, Navy SEALS and on and on. I highly recommend that you revisit the final heart-stopping 12 minutes before the landing by listening to NPR’s replay of the recording between the crew and Mission Control back in Houston.

ERRORS AT THE END:  Here’s what I didn’t know or remember: the landing almost didn’t happen. There was a series of last-minute glitches, including a loss of radio contact, and a mysterious alarm from the on-board computer. The device startled the crew by flashing error codes that the team had never seen. There was also a question of whether they would run out of fuel. And, the Apollo 11 spacecraft was traveling too quickly and in danger of overshooting the planned landing site.

The mysterious computer code – 1202 – caused a scramble back in Houston as the Mission Control Center tried to determine what it meant. A young engineer finally offered that the same code had flashed during a dress rehearsal, leading him to abort the whole simulation – for which he was later reprimanded. The code simply meant that the computer was overloaded but not ready to fail, so they blasted on.

EVERYONE STAYED ON COURSE:  We all know how this story ends. Yet what impressed me was the steely calm of the crew and the Mission Control Center through all these final upsets. At least based on the recording, no one panicked, blamed or blubbered, they simply did their jobs and pushed on, accomplishing one of the greatest feats of human engineering and cooperation in history.

What can leaders learn from this mission?

What Should You Do?

Set concrete visions and missions. Kennedy didn’t hesitate to set an audacious goal of putting a man [sic] on the moon by the end of the decade, inspiring a focused and jet-fueled team that flew through their jobs. In contrast, I’m always concerned when leaders set abstract goals – “to be a world-class company”, fo r example – encouraging nothing but yawns and lackadaisical efforts from their crew.

Train for mishaps. Both the crew and Houston Mission Control had gamed out countless scenarios before the actual flight. When error codes started flashing, I’m sure that hearts started racing, but everyone knew what to do. Fumbles are foreseeable; it’s not just working to hang onto the ball that’s important, but learning to recover from the inevitable blunders.

Keep calm and carry on. These famous words attributed to Winston Churchill were actually from a World War II poster that was never issued during the War but which has now come to be indelibly associated with his spirit and leadership. The phrase offers a useful mantra. If you can keep breathing, and inspiring your team to do the same, the results will inevitably be more successful than endless upsets.

Learn cooperation and conflict management. If either the crew or the Mission Control Center staff wanted to fight and be right more than they wanted to accomplish the landing, no one would have ever walked on the moon.

For more tips about leading through storms, visit:

Communicating During a Disaster: Don’t Make These Mistakes  Want to Avoid Helicopter Crashes and Other Disasters? Be Confrontable! Leadership Lessons from the Volkswagen Debacle

What’s Real Leadership?

Decisions! Decisions! If you can stand to recall another election season, on November 7, 2000, chaos tumbled out of Florida voting booths and into communities across the country as a storm of controversy erupted over the Presidential election. Did George W. Bush or Al Gore win Florida’s electoral vote? Should a “dimpled” chad count? What about a “hanging” chad? And what in the world was a “pregnant” chad? On November 6, 2000, the decision process seemed clear: registered voters cast their ballots, they are counted, and the winner takes all Electoral College votes. After that election, we learned that it wasn’t nearly that simple. At the heart of the matter was the question: What exactly was the decision process?

Are your decision methods clear? My clients frequently seem to have internal combustion explosions within their organizations when decisions are made in the absence of an articulated decision process and a strategic communication plan. Does everyone know the decision-making process beforehand?

There are countless ways to reach a decision-circumstances call upon leaders to use a variety of strategies daily. You might take a poll about where to grab a bite of lunch with colleagues, seek consensus about hiring a new person to join your management team, and decide alone to approve overtime. Each decision-making model has a role, and a good leader is flexible, using an array of techniques as appropriate. Especially when it comes to decisions where the stakes are high, and many people have an investment in the result, leadership consists of building a consensus around difficult issues. To quote my colleague Professor Paul C. Nutt, “The idea of a charismatic leader, someone who gets his one idea realized by sheer force of his personality, is a myth!”

What Should You Do?

Communicate How the Decision Will Be Made: Your staff may mutiny (or at least grumble) if you decide something without their counsel if the result has an impact on their work and they assumed they would be allowed to weigh in. While they still may disagree with your determination, if they are forewarned about the process, they will gripe less.

Consider the Pros and Cons of Each Model: You could use unanimity, convincing argument, following a popular leader, implicit majority or voting, compromise, the intensity of preferences or meeting everyone’s needs (true consensus.) As I’ve written before in my book “The Power of a Good Fight”, each of these methods has pros and cons. The key is to pick the right method for the specific issue and then manage the expectations of your staff.

Beware Consensus: I’m all in favor of using consensus for the right issue but groups frequently fail to understand the pitfalls. Consensus building may eat up an enormous amount of time, and the larger the group, the more time you will need to allow.

Many leaders tell me they “manage by consensus”. Just their terminology always makes me question whether this is truly their approach. The consensus is not something that can be “managed.” When leaders say this, what they usually mean is that they already have in mind an approach but want to give their group the idea that they are interested in input. They will convene an open forum to go through the appearance of listening to other ideas. This approach can backfire since people may be enthusiastic the first time this occurs, but they will soon realize something else is going on.

What Consensus Requires: If you want to use consensus, each member of the group must go in with an open mind, take responsibility for speaking up to make sure the group hears their concerns, as well as truly listening to the issues of others. Consensus requires each member to give up their beloved positions and focus on underlying needs. Most groups need a fair amount of training, discussion, and practice to make this work successfully.

For more information on group decision making, consensus building, and conflict resolution visit our Monday Memo archives.

What Are the Four Top Things Your Staff Hates About You as a Boss?

According to a recent LinkedIn Learning Survey of 3,000 employees, here are the four top gripes about bosses:

1)  having expectations that aren’t clear or frequently change;
2)  micromanaging;
3)  the boss is unavailable; and
4)  the boss is not fostering professional development.

Of course, we’ve all had bosses that we loathe and some of us have been bosses that others want to avoid. How do you make sure that you don’t commit one of these sins?

What Should You Do?

• Set clear expectations. Make sure that you are organized before you give out assignments. Do a “listening check”. Ask people to repeat back what they think they heard. Ask if things are not clear or if there is anything else they need to succeed on a project. Perhaps even ask them to email you  after your meeting what they think they are supposed to be accomplishing. Prepare to be depressed! You’ll think human communication is hopeless, but it will improve your communication skills.

• Stop micromanaging. I’ve written before about how to avoid micromanaging and how to handle a micromanager.

Do You Know Why Micromanagement is Bad for You As Well as Your Staff? How to Manage a Micromanager

The basics of my advice include understanding that we usually micromanage as a way of dealing with our own anxiety. If we can treat that, we won’t dump our stress onto our staff. Adopt a stance of trusting your people until they mess up, rather than the opposite. If someone consistently under performs, engage in performance management until they improve or else move them out of the organization.

• Be available. You may be traveling, meeting with your boss or just an introvert who hides in the office doing her own work. No matter what your excuse, you need to get out there and follow that old Tom Peters’ adage of “managing by walking around.” Set regular one-on-ones with your staff – at least monthly and preferably once a week if you have tight deadlines – and keep your office door open when you can.

• Prioritize development. Most of your people want to improve their skills. Give them that chance through formal classes, time with you or other experts, books and so on. Don’t fear that they’ll leave you if they become more proficient at what they do, surveys show that development opportunities have the opposite effect: you will improve their loyalty to you.

You may never be a perfect boss, but if you can avoid these traps, you’ll become a better one. 

 What’s the One Thing That Successful Leaders Never Do?

In a word: triangulate. What is triangulation? Basically, when we know we have a conflict with one person, yet we whine to someone else, usually someone who has no power to change the situation.

Why do people triangulate? The answer is POWER. The person in your group who refuses to speak with you directly does so because they don’t perceive that they have the power. Their perception may be incorrect, but it takes some kind of power – either because you’re a member of the dominant group, have your own sense of personal self-confidence, are viewed as a superstar, or some other reason – to give you the confidence to speak with someone directly.

Why do triangles persist? Frequently, because they are stable. If people deal with conflict directly, yet lack a creative approach, the relationship may become too intense and perish. With a triangle, the third leg creates stability. The three can endlessly circle around each other. Psychologists tell us that we bring third parties into a relationship to lower the intensity of a two-person relationship.

Successful leaders deal with conflict directly. They realize that indirect communication almost always swirls around to the target and doesn’t help resolve the problem. Only the person with the power to control the issue can do so.

What Should You Do?

If you’re a leader who triangulates:  Realize that your staff and other leaders know that you use this method. Closed door meetings, secret conferences, gossip that travels, the coconut telegraph in most workplaces works well and no one likes hearing about something that a leader said from a third party. What you need to do is to develop courage and realize that this technique is not effective.

If you lead someone who triangulates:  Realize that your staff speaks to others because they don’t believe they have the power to speak with you directly. You need to speak with the offenders and name the game. Speak with each person individually and advise them that you know they’ve been speaking with Sue instead of with you. Ask: “what can I do to make it easier for you to come to me directly?” When you address your entire staff, advise them that you don’t believe gossip is productive and you expect them to learn direct communication skills.

For more tips on resolving conflict skillfully, go to:

What Are the Two Most Important Skills Leaders Need to Resolve Conflict? Stop Escalating Conflict With This Quick Step