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Newsletter – Do You Know How to Make Sure Your Leaders Avoid Megyn Kelly’s Fate?

 October 29, 2018

Do You Know How to Make Sure Your Leaders Avoid Megyn Kelly’s Fate?

 

In case you have missed the Megyn Kelly kerfuffle, the morning show host and former Fox News anchor was removed from NBC’s TODAY Show last week because she stated that she didn’t understand how wearing blackface for Halloween was inappropriate.
Many commentators howled in protest, pointing out that Kelly was not only a prominent television face but a lawyer who used to practice employment law. Perhaps some leaders could be forgiven for not understanding various diversity and inclusion issues, but someone in Kelly’s position of influence needs to make sure that she is educated about the historical context of behavior.

While most leaders would cringe at the blackface comment and the suggested costume, here is how to make sure that your leaders avoid a similar snafu.

What Should You Do?

  • Realize that diversity and inclusion is a process, not an event. You need to make a long-term commitment to continuing and effective education of your leaders and staff. One time is not enough.
  • Make sure your leaders understand intent versus impact. From a legal – and I would suggest values – perspective, your intent doesn’t matter. Saying that you meant this kind of costume as a “joke” doesn’t let you off the hook. What matters is the impact the behavior has on other people, not your innermost thoughts. Instead of dismissing the behavior as a joke, ask to be educated about why someone dislikes your behavior: listen and learn.
  • Encourage a culture of values and civility. Suggesting some people are “too sensitive” or too “PC” won’t create a culture that is respectful and productive. I always encourage my clients to discuss what is “correct” in a civilized organization, not what is “politically correct.
  • Encourage education, not blame and name calling. In today’s politically charged environment, where people sling labels like hash, take the high road. Diversity and inclusion can be complicated topics these days but labeling someone as a racist does not help them understand anything. Encourage a safe educational environment where people can discuss and learn about sensitive topics. What works is to discuss specific behavior and educate your leaders about why certain behavior is just not okay.
  • Coach leaders to issue appropriate apologies. Saying that you apologize if anyone was offended won’t cut it. That just puts the blame on the person receiving the behavior. Instead, issue a straightforward: “I was wrong.”

What Do You Think?

How do you educate your leaders about diversity and inclusion issues? What have you found works or does not work? Call or write us at 303-216-1020 or [email protected].

Did You Know

In addition to foundational classes on harassment and discrimination,
we also offer more advanced workshops on diversity and inclusion.

We are proud to practice what we preach by using a diverse staff of workshop leaders.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
Be sure to read Lynne’s book: The Power of a Good Fight and learn to embrace conflict to drive productivity, creativity and innovation.
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Do You Know Why Condescending and Demeaning Behavior Continues and What You Should Do?

October 22, 2018

Do You Know Why Condescending and Demeaning Behavior Continues and What You Should Do?

I spoke this month at the Association of Workplace Investigators annual conference in San Francisco on Team Rebuilding After an Investigation and was surprised to learn that the most popular part of the presentation was about condescending and demeaning behavior.

I briefly mentioned that many leaders are sent to us for executive coaching after an investigation. The investigation determines that there is no harassment or discrimination, but that the leader was condescending and demeaning and needs coaching on that behavior. As an aside, I mentioned that I had written blog posts about this issue if anyone wanted a copy. These blog posts are entitled:

What is Condescending or Demeaning Behavior and Why You Should Care and Curing Condescension: Why Leaders Should Never Ask Why

Surprisingly, I was mobbed after the presentation and online with participants wanting copies of these pieces. Why is this such a popular topic?

First, I believe it’s because those who engage in this behavior have no idea that they are dishing out comments that make others feel belittled. Their speech patterns feel like normal behavior to them and they don’t realize it’s a bad habit.

Second, no one calls them on their behavior. As I have written, these comments can be hard to describe and challenging to address. Those on the receiving end back off for fear they will just receive another demeaning comment in response such as “What? You’re that sensitive?” or “What are you talking about? I just call them like I see them.”

Be aware that this kind of behavior is not just annoying, but, if allowed to continue, can cross the line into bullying and eventually, harassment. If you are in California, for example, there is a state statute on bullying, requiring training on the subject, although it does not allow for private lawsuits. The statute is defined as: conduct in the workplace, with malice, that a reasonable person would find hostile, offensive and unrelated to an employer’s legitimate business interests.

What Should You Do?

Name the game. Especially if you are a leader, you have a responsibility to protect your people from this behavior. Don’t pretend that you don’t know or recognize what someone is doing.

Be skillful in your approach. Of course, you can always leave copies of my articles on someone’s desk anonymously(!). However, a better approach (although more challenging) is to find a quiet moment to speak with the person in private. Say something like: “I’m sure you don’t mean to be condescending and demeaning but when you say …… it doesn’t help create the kind of workplace we want to encourage here, nor is it effective feedback. A better way to get your point across is ……”

Keep at it. This kind of speech is a habit. Remind the person that they are doing it again when it comes up. Change may take time.

What Do You Think?

Do you have a condescending or demeaning boss or co-worker? Send us your comments at…. Call or write us at 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com.

Did You Know

We cover empathy in all of our management and leadership classes, as well as in individual sessions.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:

Be sure to read Lynne’s books “We Need to Talk: Tough Conversations with Your Employee”  and “We Need to Talk: Tough Conversations with Your Boss”
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Do You Know the Most Important Quality for a Leader?

 October 15, 2018

Do You Know the Most Important Quality for a Leader?

According to Pulitzer Prize winning author and historian Doris Kearns Goodwin in her newest book, Leadership: In Turbulent Times, which looks at several presidents who served during the most difficult years of our country, the most important characteristic for a leader is empathy. Not charisma, not decisiveness, not the ability to brainstorm creative solutions to problems, but empathy.

“…the most important characteristic for a leader is empathy.”

Her theory is that empathy is what makes people want to follow you. Without followers, there can be no leaders. That empathy, of course, may simply be a hat trick as opposed to any kind of authentic offering. Yet people respond to the idea that a leader cares what they think and feel, as anyone who has watched the movie Lincoln, based, in part on Goodwin’s book Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln, can attest.

I have written before about my experience giving presentations to Southwest Airlines and watching their co-founder Herb Kelleher relate to every employee in the room as an individual he cared for deeply.

He routinely remembered birthdays, weddings, graduations and other events and jumped into helping the baggage crew whenever they were struggling. Kelleher’s employees would follow him off a cliff.

What Should You Do?

How can you convince people that you care?

  • Listen. Don’t just lecture your crew; listen to them and incorporate their ideas whenever you can.
  • Be human. Most leaders assume that holding themselves above the crowd is the most successful approach, yet empathy starts with the recognition that we are all inhabiting the same earth and all feel similar emotions.
  • Remember. Certainly, observing appropriate boundaries is important and I never advocate getting too involved in fixing your staff’s personal lives, yet knowing about important milestones: births, deaths, illnesses – shows you care enough to keep track of what they are going through.
  • Develop your EQ. Most emotional intelligence assessments – we use EQi 2.0 – will help you gauge how much empathy you possess. Understanding your own ability to put yourself in others’ shoes will help you grow into becoming more empathetic.

What Do You Think?

Do you believe that empathy is the most important quality for a leader? Call or write us at 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com.

Did You Know

We cover empathy in all of our management and leadrship classes, as well as in individual sessions.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:

Be sure to read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk: Tough Conversations with Your Employee”
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – Do You Know How to Fail Here So You Don’t Fail There?

 October 8, 2018

Do You Know How to Fail Here So You Don’t Fail There?

In the new movie about Neil Armstrong, the first man to walk on the moon, First Man, Armstrong admonishes his crew that: “We need to fail. We need to fail down here so we don’t fail up there.”

The moon team is having equipment problems, everyone is scrambling to make the launch deadline and fretting that the rocket is not going to work. Armstrong calms them down by assuring them that failure is actually a good thing.

“The point is to fail now, 
when you are experimenting, 
instead of later when the stakes may be higher.”

The point is to fail now, when you are experimenting, instead of later when the stakes may be higher. If, for example, you are hiring a new assistant, can you devise a exercise that will test what an actual hour or two of his or her day would involve? Incoming emails, phone interruptions, competing projects and the like can be simulated to mimic a real slice of a day. You may think that the potential hire has a great personality and would be a perfect “fit” but if he fails the test, that will tell you more than your gut check (which is how most leaders hire). You may not be planning a moon launch but there is wisdom in Armstrong’s suggestion.

What Should You Do?

1)   Create simulations and test exercises before hiring, big presentations, and new client “pitches.”
2)   Be willing to experiment. Don’t get attached to one solution to a problem. Allow your people to brainstorm and fail with test projects.
3)   A Silicon Valley mantra is “fail fast”. Don’t berate your crew for failures, ask what they learned from their mistakes.
4)   We always require people to actually practice skills during our workshops. They moan and groan but we remind them that it is better to make a mistake in class than with an actual difficult employee conversation.

What Do You Think?

Have you learned from failures? Do you have ways of creating tests and allowing failures before launching a big project?

Did You Know

As a part of our management leadership classes, we require people to practice failing, as well as discussing what we can learn from mistakes.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:

Also, I will be speaking at the Association of Workplace Investigators in San Francisco, October 13. I would love to see you there.

Be sure to read Lynne’s book: The Power of a Good Fight and learn to embrace conflict to drive productivity, creativity and innovation. 
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – How You Can Avoid the Senate’s Kavanaugh Hearings Mistakes

 October 1, 2018

Stop Escalating Conflict With This Quick Step

 

Like most of the country, I watched mesmerized by the Senate hearings last week, concerning the allegations by Christine Blasey Ford against Brett Kavanaugh.

Because I frequently conduct investigations, however, I think that I watched a bit differently than most of the Nation. While I understand that what we were watching was political theater and not a workplace investigation, we can still learn three things from the Senate Judiciary Committee’s mistakes.

1)  First, an employer’s obligation during an investigation is to remain neutral. Theoretically, the Senate Judiciary Committee was conducting an elaborate job interview. What emerged, as a part of that interview, was a need for an investigation. Once you are in investigation mode, neutrality is the rule.
2)  Second, you have to decide credibility. Many workplace investigations involve he said/she said (or he said/he said, or she said/she said) allegations. As a part of the inquiry, you have to decide who you believe. You cannot just throw up your hands and decide that you cannot determine what happened because it’s a credibility tie. Courts and juries decide swearing contests every day. As an employer, you have to also. An experienced investigator, digging for the truth, can usually find other evidence to support one side or the other. As a part of credibility investigations, you have to look at motive. Does someone stand to gain by lying or not?

3)  Third, statements are evidence. I am frequently told that there is no evidence that something occurred. Witness statements, including those from the complainant and the accused, are evidence.

What Should You Do?

  • Hire experience.  An experienced investigator will know how to follow the three rules above.
  • Resist leaping to conclusions.  As a leader, remain calm and neutral. Take a deep breath and allow the investigation to run its course.
  • Understand the burden of proof.  Workplace investigations are not criminal trials where the standard of proof is beyond a reasonable doubt. With workplace investigations, you are working with a civil standard: a preponderance of the evidence. If you have a feather weight more evidence on one side than the other, that is the side you choose.

 For more tips on how to conduct full and fair workplace investigations, go to our website resources.

What Do You Think?

How have you dealt with issues of neutrality, credibility and evidence during investigations? Call or write us at  303-216-1020, [email protected].

Did You Know

Our sessions on conflict and effective conversations help guide you through the process.
Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:

Also, I will be speaking at the Association of Workplace Investigators in San Francisco, October 13. I would love to see you there.


Be sure to read Lynne’s book:  “We Need to Talk Tough Conversations With Your Employee”.
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – Stop Escalating Conflict With This Quick Step

 September 24, 2018

Stop Escalating Conflict With This Quick Step

What is the number one mistake leaders make when dealing with conflict? Emailing!

Email is for facts, period. It is not for arguments, debates or other such shenanigans. In my experience, email only escalates conflict and leaves you with more of a mess than you started with.

I don’t do many direct mediations any more, but most of the ones I have conducted lately have involved email. One example: a woman accused her boss of harassment. It wasn’t harassment, but she didn’t know what else to call his behavior. His office was right next door to hers but he never talked to her. He gave her all her assignments on email; he even did her performance review over email! (He was in IT. Hmmm…)

Another example involved a group of software developers who were so immersed in conflict that they couldn’t get the product out the door. They brought me in to work with the team. I went to their staff meeting and noticed they all brought in their laptops. Fair enough… they might be accessing the meeting’s agenda or want to take notes electronically, I figured. But instead, they spent the session emailing each other comments such as: “Dog breath; that was the stupidest comment that I’ve ever heard.”

What Should You Do?

  • Stop emailing!   I could go on, but my rule is that once you are in conflict: stop emailing. Only bad things can happen if you persist with emailing.
  • Prepare for conflict.  You know when these things are likely to flare up. Schedule an appointment to talk to the person. Do not escape by hiding behind your keyboard.
  • Train for conflict.   Face-to-face challenging conversations become easier if you practice. Invest in training so that you are ready for the next event.

What Do You Think?

Have you successfully negotiated a conflict over email? Let us know your experience.

Did You Know

Our sessions on conflict and effective conversations help guide you through the process.
Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
Be sure to read Lynne’s book “The Power of a Good Fight” and learn how to embrace conflict to drive productivity, creativity, and innovation.
  
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Still Doing Video Training on Harassment? Might as Well Skip That Expense

 September 17, 2018

Still Doing Video Training on Harassment? Might as Well Skip That Expense

New research out of the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine after a two-year period of exhaustive and academic study, finds that video training for harassment is ineffective. Not less effective, but  ineffective.

If you are still using this training method on this topic, you might as well spend your dollars on donuts for your crew. The National Academies – not known for a political or media bias – recommends intensive, live classroom training.

The report is worth a read – especially in a week where we saw two other titans fall over sexual harassment allegations. Both Les Moonves, CEO of CBS, and Jeff Fager, famed executive producer of 60 Minutes, resigned this week over sexual harassment allegations. Interestingly, both men were not only accused of inappropriate behavior themselves but also said to have failed to respond appropriately to other complaints of harassment in their bailiwicks, as well as generally tolerating environments hostile to women.

The second important point out of the new National Academies’ research was a strong recommendation that training go beyond the law on harassment and focus on values and civility.


What Should You Do?

1)  Read the report. It’s an in-depth look at how to change a culture, including numerous other suggestions not covered in this post.
2)  Go live. Forget the 30-minute video. If you are going to do training, do it right. Go to our website for more suggestions about what effective training includes.
3)  Include values and civility. A civil workplace is a higher standard than the law requires. If you are encouraging and enforcing civility, you are not going to have to worry about ending up in the legal ditch.

 

What Do You Think?

What kinds of harassment training have you found to be effective? Email or call us with your thoughts.

Did You Know

All of our harassment training includes in-depth live presentations, discussions and interactive exercises, as well as an emphasis on civility.
Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
Be sure to read Lynne’s book on sexual harassment.
  
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – How Can You Avoid the Worthless Vision, Values and Mission Trap?

 September 10, 2018

How Can You Avoid the Worthless Vision, Values and Mission Trap?

Most of our clients these days spend time working on visions, values and missions. This is clearly a worthy exercise, yet the results are often disappointing.
Gathering a consensus from relevant stakeholders on these lofty ideals and plans can take a tedious amount of time. Once the ideals and plans exist, everyone, in my experience, breathes a sigh of relief and goes back to putting out the daily fires.
The strategic plan sits on various bookshelves, gathering dust along with training manuals. The vision and mission languish; even if they are framed and on the walls, everyone breezes right by them without a thought, too busy focusing on today to think about tomorrow.

While whole tomes have been written about these issues, here are our three top tips gleaned from our most successful clients.

What Should You Do?

 

1)   Revisit Often. Missions, visions and values should not be left to the communications department but should sit on every leader’s desk, reviewed daily. What actions are they taking today that are consistent with these ideals? What actions are inconsistent?
2)   Change, When Needed. “The best laid plans…” “We plan and God laughs”. We’ve all heard
these rubrics. What’s important is that missions, visions and values are agile, updated and re-examined as needed. When we fail to take account of changing times and changing resources, we are limiting our success.
3)   Use Concrete Visions. When we work with different organizations, we are subjected to many organizations whose visions could have been lifted from their own competitors. “We strive to be a world class company that provides the best value for our customers,” and so on.
Visions frequently sound the same and when the new vision is presented to employees, they nod their heads and fall asleep.

Instead, how about “moon-shot” visions?

“Our vision is to put a man on the moon by ___” (JFK)
“Our vision is to put a computer on every desk by ___” (Apple?)

These kinds of visions help wake people up and move them in a measureable, exciting direction. They may be terrified that the vision is insane but they won’t be bored and — if the leader is strong enough — your people will work with dedication and speed to bring your vision into reality.

What Do You Think?

Have you seen examples of these ideals that worked? If so, how? Do you agree or disagree with this approach?

Did You Know

As part of our leadership workshops and retreats, we are happy to facilitate strategic plans that include missions, visions and values.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
Be sure to read Lynne’s book “The Power of a Good Fight” and learn to embrace conflict to drive productivity, creativity and innovation.
  
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – Want to Run a Tight, High Functioning Ship? Consider the Mueller Method

 September 3, 2018

Want to Run a Tight, High Functioning Ship? Consider the Mueller Method

 

Let’s put aside for a moment the political controversy over special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation. By all accounts of former employees, bosses and co-workers, Mueller has always run a tight ship. In a New York Times article: The Mueller Method: Tenacious, Tight-Lipped and By-the-Book, former colleagues from his stint as a U.S. Attorney, as well as when he ran the F.B.I. – four decades of public service — describe him as a steady and strong leader.

Mueller has told colleagues that he had learned a management mantra as a Marine platoon leader: You cannot make people do things they are incapable of doing.

Instead prodding employees to do better, he preferred to move quickly to assemble the best possible teams, even if that required terminating long-term employees and creating disruptions.

What Should You Do?
What could you learn from Mueller’s style?
  • Understand the strengths and weaknesses of all your staff.  People usually improve by focusing on their strengths, rather than correcting weaknesses.
  • Have you given your people the tools, training and coaching to succeed?  If so, at some point, they have to take responsibility for their own success.
  • Give people chances but don’t wait forever.  If you’ve been fair and consistent in your feedback, given someone second and third chances, and the employee still hasn’t improved, consider whether you have a strength mismatch.  Can you reassign or restructure?  If not, you may need to move them out of the organization.
  • Be empathetic but realize that your ultimate responsibility is to assemble the best team, not play coach to a struggling staff forever.

For more tips on this topic, see out website: http://www.workplacesthatwork.com/newsletter-coachingtheuncoachable/

What Do You Think?

Have you waited too long to let someone go? Send us your thoughts and stories.

Did You Know

All of our management and leadership sessions include ways to make sure leaders know how to help people become more successful, as well as how to know when to let go.
Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
Be sure to read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk” Tough Conversations with Your Employee
  
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – Do You Know How and Why to do Team Building After an Investigation?

 August 27, 2018

Do You Know How and Why to do Team Building After an Investigation?

WHY?
It’s a classic case: your team has been through a messy investigation and everyone just wants to get on with work and forget about what they went through. The problem that looms, however, is that everyone who participated may not be ready to go forward, because:
  • An investigation can subtly or dramatically strain workplace relationships;
  • People take sides, gossip and become distracted during an investigation;
  • Regardless how you emphasize confidentiality, rumors abound during and after an investigation;
  • Expecting everyone to just “get back to work” is unrealistic;
  • Without team rebuilding, productivity and morale suffer;
  • Rebuilding can help prevent retaliation claims; and
  • While rebuilding, you may be able to discover what went wrong with your policies and procedures.

What Should You Do?
In order to effectively rebuild a team after an investigation,
make sure that you:
  • Retain effective internal or external resources experienced in complex and sensitive issues.
  • Include individual meetings with the complainant and the respondent, and group meetings with witnesses, any other staff who became aware of the investigation, as well as their relevant leaders.
  • Surface and quash rumors.
  • Maintain confidentiality by focusing on behavior, not who complained or who allegedly engaged in the behavior.
  • Allow people to ask questions and vent.
  • Ask everyone how they were treated during the investigation.
  • Review the rules about how and why you conduct investigations, confidentiality, standards of proof and retaliation.
  • Review relevant laws, policies and values.
  • Ask everyone involved what they need from the other participants and the organization in order to move forward and put the investigation behind them.
  • Speak with in-house or outside counsel about potential minefields to avoid and to educate them about the benefits of conducting such sessions.
For more resources and information on this topic go to our website: http://www.workplacesthatwork.com/resources/monday-memo-archives/

What Do You Think?

Do you conduct such sessions now? Why or why not? What has been your experience?

Did You Know

Our experienced facilitators regularly conduct such sessions.
Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
Be sure to read Lynne’s book “The Power of a Good Fight” and learn how conflict can help drive productivity, creativity and innovation. 
  
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304