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What Should You Do?

• Train managers and employees on effective workplace communication.
• Coach managers who do not communicate effectively.
• Share these guidelines with those who are accused of this type of behavior.
• Model effective and respectful behavior yourself.

What Should You Do?

Here is what you should look for in selecting online training:

• Is it engaging?  People learn nothing if they are bored or sleeping.
• Is it interactive?  The best have videos, polls and live answers to questions, not just lectures.
• Is it taught by qualified instructors?  Ideally, attorneys, although – let’s be honest here – some can be ponderous. Pick a session with someone who can use humor, real examples and stories to keep people’s attention.
• Are you able to track attention levels?  Some presentations allow you to follow whether someone is splitting their screen while they are supposed to be participating. Others also allow you to tabulate whether they answered all polls and questions.
• Is there follow-up?  Can participants ask questions after the session if they think of one later? Are there newsletters or other follow-up material sent out to remind people of the principles covered?
• Is there a discussion of values and your policies?  If the session only covers the law, not your organization’s policies and values, you are missing an important piece of the puzzle on this topic.

Some people simply are not coachable. This has been a hard lesson for me to learn. I’m one of those persistent people who rarely gives up once I’m committed and I will follow my coaching clients off a cliff whilst trying to help them succeed.

Yet I’ve learned that some people simply don’t have the desire or ability to change and even the best coaching won’t move them along the path. You can offer various carrots and sticks, try to motivate them according to their values, talk, talk, talk and listen, listen, listen — to no avail.

“…some people simply don’t have the desire or ability to change and even the best coaching won’t move them along the path.”

What do you do at that point? You fold. But as Kenny Rogers said, you have to know WHEN to fold.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj4nJ1YEAp4

What Should You Do?

As a leader coaching your staff, how do you know when to fold? Follow these signs:

• Going through the motions.  You have the nagging feeling that you’re being played. They’re going through the motions but you’re not seeing results.
• Excuse making.  Even though you’ve agreed upon measurements up front, they continue to have a litany of excuses for why things can’t be accomplished or finished.
• Cancellations. They frequently cancel or reschedule appointments with you.
• Nagging. You feel as if you’re repeating yourself, nagging and pushing. You’re working harder for their success than they are.
• Co-worker complaints.  Their co-workers continue to complain that the original objectionable behaviors persist.

If you see several of these signs even after you’ve given coaching a reasonable time period (at least as much time as you would give a new employee to get on board), know that it’s time to fold.

Our leadership and management classes cover effective coaching techniques and outcomes.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:

www.workplacesthatwork.com

 

Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk” – Tough Conversations With Your Employee and learn how to tackle any topic with sensitivity and smarts.

 “…once there is a conflict, you need to stop emailing and start talking.”

Email, of course, can be an effective form of communication but we should reserve it for facts, not diatribes. My rule has always been that once there is a conflict, you need to stop emailing and start talking to the relevant person. Social media or texting is even worse and so easily misunderstood. Without voice tone and facial expressions, you may think someone is seriously attacking you when they had a very different intention.

What Should You Do?

• If you are a leader, serve as a good role model. Practice good communication techniques and do not use emailing or posting to avoid talking.
• Do not write sarcastic, demeaning or emotional comments over email or online. Vent in a private notebook if you need to collect your thoughts, but talk in person or by phone if emotion is involved.
• Take every opportunity to learn good communication skills. Attend workshops, read books and articles and strive to be effective. Good communication is a skill, just like programming or accounting. You can learn how to be good at dialogue and few things will improve your workplace success more.
• Do not email or post unless you would be happy with your boss, a judge or the Russians reading what you wrote. Online content lasts forever, may be forwarded to other people or, if it is on your company’s servers, your employer can view it at any time.

Our workshops on tough conversations include rules on when to stop using online tools for conversations.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:

www.workplacesthatwork.com

 

Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk” – Tough Conversations With Your Employee and learn how to tackle any topic with sensitivity and smarts.

 

What Should You Do?

• Throw out your stereotypes. Just like younger workers, older workers want to be treated with respect and as individuals. Get to know what their values are and you’ll know how to engage them.
• Replace the word older with the word experienced. Who doesn’t want an experienced worker?
• Ask them for input. Don’t be afraid that they’ll think you don’t know what you’re doing. Be open to their feedback and suggestions.
• Don’t refuse to hire them because they’re “overqualified.” The courts have held that the word “overqualified” is a code word for too old. In addition, you never know why someone is applying for a certain job. Perhaps they’re tired of being a manager and just want to do excellent work. Perhaps their financial needs have lessened but they still want to contribute. Perhaps they have family responsibilities and want more work/life balance. Whatever their reasons, the research shows that they’ll probably be with you longer than someone right out of school.
• Partner them with younger workers as mentors. Try to create a learning environment where they can both learn from each other.
• Consider legacy.  Encourage them to consider what legacy they want to leave in the workplace. Listen to their thoughts on this topic and try to help them achieve their goals. Just like younger workers, experienced workers have dreams also, not just thoughts of surviving until retirement.

Our workshops on discrimination, diversity and inclusion cover topics relating to experienced workers.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:

www.workplacesthatwork.com

 

Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk” – Tough Conversations With Your Employee and learn how to tackle any topic with sensitivity and smarts.

What Should You Do?

• Consider where you currently document. You already document with emails, voice mails, memos, texts and the like. Make sure that you would be happy having a judge, your boss or the Russians read these. They are all discoverable, owned by your employer (assuming you sent them through their server) and not private to you. Remember that the e in email stands for evidence.
• Take five minutes at the end of every day to do a mini “brain dump” and document anything that comes up with regard to an employee issue.
• Have employees email back to you what you said after one-on-ones. This will make you a better communicator and encourage them to listen. At first, however, you will be depressed, convinced human communication is hopeless, but it will illustrate why your employees are not doing what you tell them to do. If you have to do some kind of an evaluation or respond to a complaint, you will have a beautiful documentation trail and the employee will have done all the work.
• Make documentation honest and verifiable. Avoid conclusions, biases and sarcasm.

You can learn more tips on documentation in our all of our leadership and management classes.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:

www.workplacesthatwork.com

 

Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk” – Tough Conversations With Your Employee and learn how to tackle any topic with sensitivity and smarts.

Difficult Conversations: How NOT to Get Them on Your Side

Many of my clients like to think of themselves as direct. “I’m just an honest person”, they’ll assert. Or, “I like to cut to the chase.”

Unfortunately, starting off a challenging conversation with this in mind will frequently back people into their respective corners and put them into fight-or-flight mode.

As the neuropsychologists will tell us, fight-or-flight mode is that part of our brain that is reptilian. We’re on automatic pilot when that kicks in and not thinking of the best outcome for all concerned.

 

Instead…diffuse the tension of the situation and try to create collaboration.

One of your main jobs when you are starting off a difficult conversation is to get the other person on your side. In order to do that you need to diffuse the tension of the situation and try to create collaboration, not an adversarial environment.

What Should You Do?

All of our classes on leadership and conflict deal with how to handle challenging conversations.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:

www.workplacesthatwork.com

 

If you are dealing with a challenging boss be sure to read Lynne’s books about how to handle difficult people and difficult conversations to learn helpful strategies.

Managing UP! What To Do Now

 When I am teaching management or leadership classes, I am frequently asked about managing up. Even though the participants are learning about how to manage their own staff, the real challenge might be how to manage their boss.

 The reality is: you need to talk! How is it that we human beings struggle so much with talking about what is important to us? On the one hand, it is hard to believe that there are so many competent, articulate, well-educated, intelligent, creative, talented people working in the world who fear conversations more than almost any other situation. On the other hand, it is not difficult to imagine at all. Even veteran leaders struggle with discussing complaints, performance problems and other workplace woes. If THEY have problems, it is normal that YOU might feel intimidated also.

“The reality is: you need to talk!”

 

The reality is, however, that you might be stuck with a bad boss: someone who is impossible to please or talk to. Think of Meryl Streep in the movie “The Devil Wears Prada”. Your boss is your boss for one very important reason: someone above them thinks that they should be the boss. It is not because they are brilliant or even competent. If you are stuck with someone truly evil or clueless, you have limited options. Your best bet is to simply bide your time and learn what you can, while plotting your escape. Unless he or she is doing something immoral, illegal or fattening, you are stuck.

What Should You Do?

• Do not wait for your boss to tell you what is important. Find out by asking in a skillful way such as, “I’m curious about what your own priorities are these days” or “I know that the ABC merger is coming up, I’m wondering what else might be on the horizon that I might not know about where I could help.”
• Let your boss know what you are doing. Just like everyone these days, your boss has too much to do. He or she may forget what they have given you to work on. Make it easy by giving them weekly reports: “This is what I am working on (or accomplished) this week. These are my priorities. Please let me know if you agree that this is what I should be focusing on.”
• Do not bother your boss with petty skirmishes with co-workers or your problems with your benefits form. Solve your problems directly or go to the experts in HR.
• Keep trying to build a good relationship. While a tough boss might seem impossible, everyone has families, passions outside of work, a brutal commute and the like. Try to ask him or her to lunch or a quick cup of coffee and explore (without prying) into their world. The best way to do so is to share a bit of yourself. Try: “I went to the Bronco game (or skiing) this weekend. Are you a fan?” When you have a better relationship, it is easier to manage the tough times.

 All of our management and leadership classes can include a section on managing up.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:

www.workplacesthatwork.com

 

If you are dealing with a challenging boss be sure to read Lynne’s books about how to handle difficult people and difficult conversations to learn helpful strategies.

   

Every day we seem to receive a new avalanche of complaints about sexual harassment or assault as a part of the #MeToo movement. The latest is against Stephen Wynn, a Vegas billionaire and Republican National Committee finance chair. The Wynn empire’s casino stock fell sharply on the news, illustrating the power of these types of allegations to create financial risks. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/27/us/politics/steve-wynn-rnc-resignation.html

“…people in positions of power sometimes don’t realize — or refuse to consciously acknowledge — the power differential that they have over others in their organization.”

Because the public cases seem to strike with such speed and fury, many of my clients are left spinning with concern about what to do next. Obviously, most organizations need to step up training and monitor their complaint process http://www.workplacesthatwork.com/newsletter-what-does-metoo-mean-for-you-as-a-leader/ — but in addition, many managers and executives need individual coaching on the issue of power.

What seems to be true is that people in positions of power sometimes don’t realize — or refuse to consciously acknowledge — the power differential that they have over others in their organization. I have coached executives who honestly thought that certain behavior was welcome and reciprocal. They simply didn’t realize (or refused to know) that their underlings reasonably assumed that they had to “go along to get along” with the behavior that these executives dished out. The alleged behavior doesn’t rise to the level of the stories that have been making the news, yet organizations still need to make sure that such behavior doesn’t escalate.