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Want to Be Happier at Work? Try to Experience Flow

Who Doesn’t Want to be Happier at Work? Even if we love what we do, most of us want to be happier at work. We may like parts of our work but not others, such as paperwork, bills, answering email and so on. If we’re leaders, we probably want our team to be happier also.

The Experience of Flow: Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a world-famous Hungarian-American psychologist, pondered this problem for most of his career. He started out studying musicians and other artists, endeavoring to determine what made them happier and more productive in their work.

What he found was that at a certain level of practice of their craft – sometimes as much as 10,000 hours – they started to experience a state he called “flow”. In this state, the world disappeared, and they were totally involved in the experience of the work. Some even called this an ecstatic experience.

Anyone Can Experience Flow: While he started out studying artists, he expanded his research and found the same state in “executives and assembly-line workers in Detroit, Himalayan mountain climbers, Navajo shepherds, Olympic athletes. Whatever they did, if they found a way to experience flow in their lives, they seemed to be truly happy.”

In one famous example, he studied a man who worked in a bagel shop in New York. The worker spent all day filleting salmon for lox. He tried to improve what he was doing every day and went home happy and knowing that he was the best at his job.

What Should You Do?

Here Are Three Steps for an Easy Mediation Exercise:

Practice, Practice, Practice: Like the old advice about getting to Carnegie Hall, what he found was that practice made people proficient and that helped them feel that experience of flow.

Focus on Improving: As Csikszentmihalyi puts his advice: “The world is so full of things you can do that you can try to do better. And if you can do that, it doesn’t matter what you are doing.”

So the key seems to be not just doing the work more and more, but trying to improve. The act of focusing on improvement itself seems to lead to flow.

For more advice on how to be happier at work, read the following articles:

Could You Have Your Dream Job Now? It’s Easier Than You Might Think

Snarling, Screaming or Sobbing at Work? You’re Not Alone!

When to Move On

What Do You Think?

Have you found ways to be happier at work? Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

What Are the Costs, Losses, and Consequences of Poor Workplace Communication and What Should You Do?

POOR WORKPLACE COMMUNICATION:  Ineffective, inefficient, or just plain bad workplace communication is something we have all endured. Your co-worker does not understand what you said because they do not listen, your boss avoids conflicts so nothing is resolved, or someone is emailing disrespectful “jokes” to your group. Good communication is rare and almost everyone thinks they are good at it!

COSTS, LOSSES AND CONSEQUENCES:  What are the soft and hard costs of bad communication? David Grossman reported in “The Cost of Poor Communications” that a survey of 400 companies with 100,000 employees each cited an average loss per company of $62.4 million per year because of inadequate communication to and between employees.

WHAT MAKES UP THESE COSTS?  In most organizations, it is lost productivity, a lack of focus, loss of respect for leaders, poor morale, more turnover, and perhaps even claims for bullying or harassing behavior. Turnover alone, for example, costs most organizations at least one and one-half times the amount of the departing employee’s salary.

WHY DO THESE COSTS OCCUR?  Research shows that these costs escalate because most groups have failed to educate their people about communications skills and have failed to create systems to establish and maintain communication norms.

What Should You Do?

Learn and model good skills:  As a leader, you need to take the time to learn and model good communication skills. We all spend a big part of every day trying to communicate our thoughts, our ideas, and our directions, yet we spend very little time learning how best to improve our skills.

Insist That Your Staff Do Likewise:  Make sure that you provide opportunities for your people to acquire effective workplace communication skills and mandate that they use what they have learned.

Monitor Electronic Communication: Even if your people are working remotely, they cannot escape the need to communicate well electronically. All the same problems with poor, inefficient, and even abusive in-person communication can manifest even more seriously with online communication. Make sure that your people understand that the same rules apply.

For more information about this topic, go to Lynne’s Monday Memos.

What Do You Think?

Is politics an issue in your workplace? Call or write us: 303-216-1020 or email: Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Change Your Personality? Here’s How

IS CHANGE REALLY POSSIBLE? Most of us have something about ourselves, our partner or that annoying co-worker that we would like to change. In my coaching practice, I am frequently charged with specific things that a leader wants to change about a staff member. In my work with the coaching client, they may initially resist the leader’s request, alleging some version of the claim: “That’s just the way I am!”

 THE LATEST RESEARCH: As Olga Khazan, author of the book “Weird” writes in a recent New York Times article, “You Can Be a Different Person After the Pandemic”: “Our personalities are not set in stone. They are more like sand dunes.”

While previous theories might have assumed that our personalities did not change after childhood, more recent research has revealed that we can change well into adulthood, and that the brain is more elastic than previously assumed.

Khazan cites research that found that adults can change the five basic traits that make up personality – extroversion, openness to experience, emotional stability, agreeableness, and conscientiousness – within just a few months with concerted effort.

ACTING “AS IF” AND SPECIFIC STEPS: Change requires two things: 1) acting “as if” we are the person we would like to be and 2) setting goals and specific steps. Therapy, apps, and coaching can all help us stay on track. 

What Should You Do?

FOR LEADERS: When coaching specific staff members that you need to change, do not accept their excuses that they are who they are and cannot evolve. Set specific performance goals and consequences for new behaviors. Be sure to be behaviorally specific, rather than asking them to change into someone less confrontational, more assertive, more respectful and the like. Identify what they would specifically do and say if they acted the way you want them to behave, as well as what they currently do or say that is unacceptable. Offer coaching, books, videos and so on to help them through the process.

FOR INDIVIDUALS: Practice small steps toward behaving the way you want to be. If, for example, you want to be more open to new experiences, take a walk on a different path or go to lunch at a new restaurant, rather than immediately taking up sky diving or swimming with sharks. Use lists, apps or an accountability partner to keep you on track.

For more suggestions about how to change your staff or yourself, go to other articles in our Monday Memo collection.

https://www.workplacesthatwork.com/resources/monday-memo-archives/

What Do You Think?

Have you or your staff experienced burnout during this last year? How did you cope? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know?

Our leadership and management workshops and coaching – both in person and live– help you deliver real change. Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Coaching and webinars on these and other management and leadership topics can all be delivered virtually.

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Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk — Tough Conversations with Your Employee” and learn to tackle any topic with sensitivity and smarts

Shootings: What Can You Do?

Boulder Mourns: I feel so far beyond sad to talk about the shooting last week. On a personal note, I had been in that store the day before and knew many of the workers, all of whom were unfailingly helpful and kind. We feel helpless and hopeless in the aftermath of one more tragedy. Rising from the ashes, we all want to do something, yet we may lack an understanding of what might really help.

Multiple Causation: Many want to push forward their own pet theory of causation: too many guns, mental illness, hatred of the other, toxic masculinity and on and on. My own view is that the desire to find one cause is not helpful. Most likely, we will find many contributing factors once the dust settles.

Workplace Shootings: While we are still bewildered as to why someone would drive from a different town to shoot people in this particular store, workplace violence from current or former co-workers has been extensively studied and is much more common. We can do our best to try to prevent those kinds of shootings.

What Should You Do?

Educate leaders about the warning signs of violence: Studies have found that perpetrators of co-worker violence (the most common kind of workplace violence) always exhibited warning signs, as follows:

WARNING SIGNS OF VIOLENCE

These signs tend to be clustered in people who commit violent acts in workplaces. Just one of these probably does not signal a warning sign.

ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO SPEAK UP: Many people, of course, exhibit one of these signs, but not a cluster of them. Almost always, when workplace violence occurs, co-workers had observed these signs. If you are a leader, try to create an environment where your people feel comfortable speaking up without fear of retaliation. If you are an associate, please say something to your boss, your boss’s boss, HR, or security, as appropriate.

What Do You Think?

What steps has your organization taken to prevent workplace violence? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know?

Both our management and leadership programs – live and online — include sections on preventing violence. Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Coaching and webinars on these and other management and leadership topics can all be delivered virtually.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk — Tough Conversations with Your Employee” and learn to tackle any topic with sensitivity and smarts

What is Successful Harassment Training?

STRICTER LAWS: Many states now require some kind of sexual harassment training. What’s new is that those laws are becoming stricter. The Colorado legislature, for example, is now considering a new law that will provide that an employer may use harassment training as a defense to harassment claims only if the organization utilizes a training program with a “documented success in preventing harassment and a history of punishing supervisors who have unlawfully harassed employees”.

INTERACTION REQUIRED: Several states, including New York, require “interactive” training, defined as: some form of employee participation, meaning the training must:

• be web-based with questions asked of employees as part of the program;
• accommodate questions asked by employees;
• include a live trainer made available during the session to answer questions; and/or
• require feedback from employees about the training and the materials presented.

California defines its “interactive” requirement as: “individualized, interactive, computer-based training created by a trainer and an instructional designer. An e-learning training shall provide a link or directions on how to contact a trainer who shall be available to answer questions and to provide guidance and assistance about the training within a reasonable time period after the supervisor asks the question, but no more than two business days after the question is asked. The trainer shall maintain all written questions received, and all written responses or guidance provided, for a period of two years after the date of the response.”

What Should You Do?

CHECK LEGAL REQUIREMENTS: As a start, before designing or selecting a harassment program, make sure that – as a minimum – it will meet the legal requirements of your state.

CHECK INTERACTIVITY: All trainings are not created equal. The trend is to require interactivity, defined variously as the ability for participants to engage in questions and answers, engage with a live trainer, seek answers to questions after the session ends, analyze relevant case studies and videos, and so on.

CHECK FOR A RECORD OF SUCCESS: If the Colorado law passes, employers who are defendants in lawsuits will need to prove that they have taken steps to prevent harassment by choosing training with a “record of success” in preventing harassment. While it is unclear what this requirement might mean, it may be that the new legislation will require the training organization to maintain records or statistics to prove success.

What Do You Think?

Have you made changes to your harassment prevention programs because of the requirements of state laws? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know?

Our harassment training, coaching, and consulting—both live and in-person — meets or exceeds the requirements of all state laws. We constantly receive feedback that our sessions are the most engaging and interactive they have experienced.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Coaching and webinars on these and other management and leadership topics can all be delivered virtually.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Read Lynne’s book on sexual harassment.

Is Harassment a Popularity Contest? I Think Not!

CUOMO AGAIN: New York Governor Andrew Cuomo continues to be in the news. A recent poll, found that 50% of residents thought he should not resign. Many US Representatives, Senators, and NY state representatives have also weighed in, most suggesting resignation.

INVESTIGATIONS TAKE TIME: As I wrote last week, I always suggest that organizations wait until there has been a full and fair investigation before they make a decision as to the consequences of any harassment allegation. Unfortunately, investigations take time. While we always strive to finish investigations we are conducting within two weeks, they may drag on because of witness unavailability, document searches and consults with inside and outside counsel, as well as business leaders. The time lag allows for much mischief in terms of gossip, rumors, and unsolicited advice from various stakeholders. When I am asked what I think about a public harassment complaint, I always reply that I don’t know, unless I did the investigation (in which case, of course, the results would be confidential).

EVERYONE HAS RIGHTS: Everyone has rights in any workplace investigation: the person(s) bringing the complaint, the accused, as well as any witnesses. We need to treat everyone with respect until the investigation is concluded and the organization has a chance to determine appropriate consequences, if any. In the meantime, everyone else needs to do their best to stay out of the fray.

What Should You Do?

MANAGE GOSSIP: If you are a leader, do your best to quell the rumors and gossip during the course of an investigation. In addition to the potential legal consequences of defamation claims, you have an ethical obligation to treat all your staff with respect until the situation is resolved. If necessary, the alleged harassers, as well as the target(s) can be placed on suspension with pay while the investigation proceeds.

REMAIN NEUTRAL: As an employer, your role during and after receiving a complaint is to remain neutral. Refrain from expressing an opinion as to the honesty of any of the claimants or respondents unless you are asked as a part of the investigation.

ACCEPT THE RESULTS: Unless you have facts that you believe were not considered as a part of the investigation, accept the results. Investigations and their conclusions should be kept confidential, only those who need to know should know. Frequently, the investigator considered facts or witness statements of which you may not be aware. In addition, an organization has an obligation to be consistent in determining consequences. Responsible leaders may need to take into account previous outcomes or the needs of the business in calculating a result.

What Do You Think?

Have you observed workplace investigations that you thought were mishandled?  Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know?

In addition to providing workshops on preventing harassment and other discrimination issues, we conduct investigations, providing consulting advice to those conducting investigations,

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Coaching and webinars on these and other management and leadership topics can all be delivered virtually.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Read Lynne’s book on sexual harassment.

The Cuomo Tales: What Three Lessons Could You Learn?

Capital Punishment? Five women have now accused embattled New York Governor Andrew M. Cuomo of sexual harassment. Both Democratic and Republican politicians in New York have now called on him to resign – capital punishment for the once-popular politician. Should that be his fate?

Whenever there’s a public scandal about harassment, or within a client organization I’m advising, there’s a hue and cry for resignation or termination. Except in the most horrific and obvious cases, however, I need to walk them off the ledge. Within the workplace, at least, there’s frequently a lack of understanding that consequences come in gradations, not one size fits all. Just because you have “zero tolerance” for harassment, doesn’t mean termination is always the appropriate remedy. Especially for a first and minor offense – coaching, a verbal warning, a written warning, a slash of a bonus and so on may be more appropriate.

For a politician, of course, we may have more challenges crafting a lower-level consequence, yet given the frequency of harassment allegations, I think we should try.

And Remember, Investigations? Accused is not convicted goes the criminal law aphorism. Of course, harassment isn’t generally a criminal complaint – unless it’s an assault – but I’m always amazed at how quickly convictions happen in the court of public opinion. Yes, we need to listen with respect to women (or men) who come forward with accusations, but not necessarily believe all of them. Investigations take time and we need to wait for the outcome before passing judgement.

Apologies Please! Cuomo, like many public figures before him, has attempted to apologize if he “offended anyone.” As I have written before (Monday Memo Archives (workplacesthatwork.com), public figures need to take responsibility for their actions, not place the blame on those they have harmed.

What Should You Do?

Consider Appropriate Consequences: Avoid knee jerk reactions leading to terminations. Sometimes firings are appropriate, but not always.

Launch Full and Fair Investigations: Everyone has rights in these situations – the accused, the target, and any witnesses. Respect all the parties, assign the task of a thorough investigation to an experienced and neutral investigator and – most importantly – wait. Don’t make any final decisions until you have received a competent report. Investigations take time and it is the employer’s job to stay neutral until they are complete.

Coach Apologies: If public apologies seem appropriate, make sure that the accused takes responsibility for his or her actions instead of blaming the target. They should use words such as: “I was wrong…I’ve learned…I want to remedy any wrong…”. Apologies that state, “I apologize to anyone who was offended” place the blame on the wrong party, implying that the target owns the problem because of their sensitivities, rather than the harasser’s actions. Be cautious, however. Apologies are not always welcome and may sometimes traumatize the target. Make sure that you are not doing more harm than good.

For more articles concerning appropriate or inappropriate comments inside and outside the workplace go to

https://www.workplacesthatwork.com/cancel-culture-myth-or-fact-and-should-you-care/

What Do You Think?

Has your organization learned from public harassment scandals? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know?

In addition to online and in person workshops on these issues, we provide, investigations, coaching and counseling for professionals dealing with the fallout, as well as education for the harasser, after investigations are completed.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Coaching and webinars on these and other management and leadership topics can all be delivered virtually.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Read Lynne’s book on sexual harassment.

Is Your Workplace Dysfunctional? What You Should Do

TOXIC CULTURES: I hear a lot about “toxic cultures” when I receive a request from a new client. Leaders may believe that a few “rotten apples” are creating problems and want us to fix them; staff may view the leadership as ineffectual, dishonest and/or out of touch with the troops in the trenches.

DYSFUNCTIONAL? The Urban Dictionary has several different definitions of dysfunctional, some of which would be inappropriate for most workplaces as well as this Monday Memo! The leading one is: “To be very bad at something. Usually pertaining to sports.”

I also found this one to be useful: “Failure to grasp the consequences of a poorly thought-out decision.”

BUT THE PROBLEM IS… Generic labels about what’s dysfunctional are not useful. We can’t really fix a label; we can only fix observable behavior. When I ask clients to drill down on what they mean when they use the word “dysfunctional”, they frequently describe the same behaviors: 1) poor conflict management skills – avoiding conflict, gossiping to third parties not involved in the issue, or hurling aggressive words or actions at their adversaries; 2) poor decision-making tools and strategies; and 3) subtle kinds of bias or harassment.

Based on the work I have done with my clients and research on even the most successful organizations, most workplaces are at least somewhat “dysfunctional”. Why? Because organizations are made up of imperfect human leaders trying to lead other imperfect human beings and everyone in the system makes human errors.

What Should You Do?

FOCUS ON BEHAVIOR: As leaders or staff, we are rarely able to change labels. What we can do is influence — and perhaps change — behaviors. Labeling your organization or team is rarely helpful. Instead, describe observable behaviors that you believe need to change and the impact these behaviors has on the success of the team or organization. If there are no correlations between the behavior and the team or organizational success, stop!

SHINE A LIGHT: After you have described the behavior that’s not working, provide detailed behavioral descriptions of what behavior DOES work.

For more suggestions about encouraging behavior change, go to www.workplacesthatwork.com/resources/monday-memo-archives/

What Do You Think?

Do you believe you work for a dysfunctional organization?  Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know?

We continue to provide engaging education about these and other topics – live and online.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Coaching and webinars on these and other management and leadership topics can all be delivered virtually.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Read Lynne’s book “The Power of a Good Fight” and learn to embrace conflict to drive productivity, creativity and innovation

Cancel Culture: Myth or Fact and Should You Care?

THE DEBATE: There is a lot of blather these days about “cancel culture”, the idea that certain people are banned from social media or even the workplace because of things they have done or said that others perceive as harassing, discriminatory or insulting. Based on my research, however, the concern that anyone has been unfairly muzzled is vastly overstated.

THE LATEST: Bachelor Host Chris Harrison, during the 25th season of the popular Bachelor franchise and the first to host a black star, defended a contestant’s history of racially questionable actions.

Specifically, the contestant was seen online at an Antebellum party in 2018, a racially insensitive celebration of the old South. After the ensuing uproar, Harrison consulted with his bosses and “stepped aside” for an undisclosed period.

WHY DO WE CARE? Some people have argued that the so called “cancel culture” is an over-reaction to everyday slights and that those who are upset are too sensitive or too “politically correct”. My own view is that we should speak out against behavior – not attitudes or opinions – but observable behavior that is simply incorrect in a civilized workplace. What people say at public venues – short of yelling fire in a crowded theater, encouraging violence or hate speech delivered as a part of another crime – should be allowed to flourish as a part of free speech.

As I have written before, in TO REVIEW: You Do Know That This is Not Okay? | (workplacesthatwork.com) what people say in the workplace is another matter. People have a right to feel safe and comfortable at work, to be able to get their work done. That is why we call it work after all. If their co-workers are mouthing or exhibiting unacceptable discriminatory or harassing language or behaving in a harassing or discriminatory manner, the targets may find it difficult to work. Just as filthy or unsafe air can pollute a workplace environment, so can unacceptable speech or behavior.

What Should You Do?

DON’T BE DISTRACTED: If you are a leader, you have a responsibility to provide a workplace that is free from discrimination or harassment. Do not be distracted by those who grumble about the red herring of cancel culture or political correctness.

WHAT’S CORRECT? What is correct in any given workplace will vary, of course, but use the law, your policies, and your values as a guide. People who refuse to abide by respect for their co-workers that is embedded in those three guides need to be corrected and – if they refuse to shape up – moved out of the organization.

EDUCATE: Your first line of defense as a leader should always be education – of yourself and your associates. People do not always understand diversity, equity, and inclusion issues, and it is up to you to make sure that you guide them along the path. Once educated, however, if they continue to step outside the bounds, do not hesitate to take the appropriate corrective action.

For more information about appropriate workplace culture, go to workplacesthatwork.com.

What Do You Think?

Have you observed more discussions about cancel culture in your workplace? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know?

We continue to provide engaging education about these and other topics – live and online.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Coaching and webinars on these and other management and leadership topics can all be delivered virtually.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk – Tough Conversations with Your Employee” and learn to tackle every topic with sensitivity and smarts.

Pay Attention to Me! How the Attention Economy Impacts Your Work

THE SCARCITY OF ATTENTION:  If you have not heard of the attention economy you probably will. Although the term has been around since the 80s, adopted by a theoretical physicist named Michael Goldhaber, commentators have increasingly applied the term to describe all kinds of ways that we exchange not money, but attention. Attention has become a thing of value because we each have only so much of it.

INFORMATION POLLUTION: We have all felt buried: that sense of information overload because there is simply too much information out there and we are drowning in content. We have a challenging time deciding how to spend that precious resource of our own attention.

EXCHANGING ATTENTION:  At one point in human history, land made a person wealthy, then money, but now we frequently assess a person’s worth – including at work – by how much attention they can attract. Attention comes in many forms: love, recognition, heeding, obedience, thoughtfulness, caring, praising, watching over, attending to one’s desires, aiding, advising, critical appraisal, assistance in developing new skills, et cetera. Increasingly, we spend our attention online with gossip, debate, and learning. As Goldhaber and others have emphasized, the Internet is rewiring our brains, especially when we look at attention.

What Should You Do?

BUDGET ATTENTION: Because most of us (other than Jeff Bezos) have a finite amount of money, we watch where our money goes: creating a budget, analyzing where we save and spend. Look at your limited amount of attention in the same way. Budget your attention so that you do not squander this limited resource.

LEADERS AND ATTENTION: If you are a leader, realize that your attention to those you manage may be even more important to them than a raise. Make sure that you consider the focus of your attention and which people, places and things are truly worth your time and energy. You should consider squandering or mismanaging your attention to be as big a mistake as a budget blunder. As every misbehaving child knows, negative attention may be better than no attention at all, but will criticizing those you lead create the result you want?

PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE YOU PAY ATTENTION: Your staff, family, advertisers, Twitter feed, and your latest Netflix binge are all clamoring for your attention. Make sure that you are conscious about where your awareness lands, rather than responding automatically to the loudest voice.

For more ideas about how you allocate attention, go to: https://www.workplacesthatwork.com/whats-the-most-important-thing-on-your-to-do-list/

For more tips on communications, go to www.workplacesthatwork/Mondaymemos.com

These and other meeting ideas are addressed in all our leadership and management workshops – live and online.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Coaching and webinars on these and other management and leadership topics can all be delivered virtually.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk – Tough Conversations with Your Employee” and learn to tackle every topic with sensitivity and smarts.