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Newsletter – How to make Sure That Your Staff Hears Your Feedback

August 28, 2017

How to Make Sure That Your Staff Hears Your Feedback
Frequently, when I am conducting an investigation or a leadership assessment, I am struck by how differently people perceive feedback. Although a leader will assert that they have given their staff person their evaluations of specific performance “numerous times”, the staff person, when questioned, denies ever hearing such a critique.

“…do not ignore the problem and hope it will go away or give people vague, passing feedback.”

The mystery of why we don’t see ourselves the way others see us is a matter of many complicated factors, https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200505/metaperceptions-how-do-you-see-yourself, including how we were raised, whether our brain is wired in a way to decipher social cues, our life experiences and so forth. Yet as leaders, it is essential that we do our best to make sure that our feedback is heard and integrated. The good news is that we can control our side of the process and that can make a significant difference.

What Should You Do?

As leaders, we have a responsibility to give people accurate, timely feedback. While we can never assume total responsibility for how our words are heard, these things help:

  • Use specific, behavioral examples. Don’t just say that someone seems to lack focus, tell them that their presentation was not organized in a logical way and that they jumped around from topic to topic. Tell them what they actually did and said that wasn’t up to par, and give them specific, behavioral examples of what would work better.
  • Don’t wait for annual performance reviews.  Give people feedback close to the time the problem occurs. Performance reviews should never be a surprise but simply a summary of feedback they have received throughout the year.
  • Document, document, document.  Make sure that you make notes in your manager’s file of the feedback you have given, as well as their response. After talking in person to them, summarize the feedback in an email to an employee, or better yet, have them summarize what you said in an email back to you. Some people integrate the written word better than they listen.
  • Train your employees on how to listen and receive feedback, as well as training your managers on how to provide feedback.
Mostly, do not ignore the problem and hope it will go away or give people vague, passing feedback. Feedback is an essential part of your job; make sure that you take it seriously.

 Did You Know

All of our management and leadership programs include how to give and receive feedback so that you have the best chance of making sure that it is heard. We also conduct sessions to help employees ask for and receive feedback.

For more information, call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

 
Be sure to read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk — Tough Conversations With Your Employee” 
and learn how to tackle any topic with sensitivity and smarts.
      
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – Micromanagement or Leadership? What Do You Choose?

August 21, 2017

Micromanagement or Leadership? What Do You Choose?

1Micromanagement has a bad rap and deservedly so. Yet when people are struggling performers or new employees, you have to do it. Frequent one-on-ones, help with priorities, lists of tasks and follow-ups are all hallmarks of good management for staff in these categories. In addition, I’ve had leaders who took on new teams that had been so poorly managed, the new leaders needed to track them closely in order to try to shape things up.

Yet in general, if your staff is constantly complaining about being micromanaged, you need to listen.

When I speak with leaders about this feedback, their take on the situation is frequently that they have to manage people closely because when they give them more responsibility, they make mistakes or sometimes even create disasters.  As an outsider trying to evaluate the whole situation, the truth may be hard to find.

 

“…if your staff is constantly complaining about being micromanaged, you need to listen.”

 

What Should You Do?  2

  • First, if you’re a leader who is accused of micromanagement  — or an outsider trying to discover the truth about a team — listen. Ask open-ended questions (who, what, where, when) until you understand what the critic is suggesting. Don’t become defensive or shut them down without truly understanding the situation.
  • Second, ask whether letting your people have more responsibility is really such a bad idea or simply your own fear of releasing the reins. They may well make mistakes but there’s no other way fr them to learn. Try to break tasks down into manageable bites so that if they do miss the mark, you can give them feedback and they can integrate your suggestions, but an entire project doesn’t go awry.
  • Third, consider whether your staff is really incapable of taking on more responsibility. If, after honest reflection, you find that they are, you may have a bigger problem. Perhaps you’ve kept people around for too long who are simply incapable of progressing and growing in the way you need them to advance. If this is the case, you may need to put them on a performance plan and ultimately – and ideally, gently – move them along to greener pastures. If you’re avoiding this path because you don’t want to face what it would take to honestly evaluate performance and institute consequences, you’re not doing them or your organization any favors.

 Did You Know

Balancing between micromanagement and leadership is something we address in all our management and leadership workshops.

For more information, call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at: www.workplacesthatwork.com

 
Be sure to read Lynne’s book “The Power of a Good Fight” – 
Embracing Conflict to Drive Productivity, Creativity and Innovation. 
      
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – Are You Making Google’s Mistakes? How to Avoid Their Current Diversity Dust-up

August 14, 2017

Are You Making Google’s Mistakes? How to Avoid Their Current Diversity Dust-up

A lot has been written about the recent firing of the Google engineer, James Damore, who wrote an internal – although widely circulated – memo about how there are fewer women at Google and other tech companies because of biological differences that made them unfit for such work. Damore also claimed that he found Google’s diversity training shaming to white men and that his “free speech” rights were being violated because he couldn’t express such views. http://www.latimes.com/business/technology/la-fi-tn-google-diversity-20170811-story.html

Damore is now claiming that he is considering suing Google because he had filed a claim with the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) before he was fired asserting a right to talk to his fellow Googlers about such issues.
 
“Good diversity training should not make anyone feel stereotyped or insulted.”

  • Among the sound and fury about this issue, I’ve noticed a lack of legal clarity so I feel compelled to weigh in. First, despite what many employees think, most of them don’t have “free speech” or First Amendment Rights at work. The First Amendment applies to government action, not the action of private employers.Private employers have a right to create and enforce rules governing behavior at work, including rules governing speech. We all give up something in exchange for a paycheck and the right to say whatever we want at work is one of them. Without such conduct codes, workplaces would truly be back in the sandbox.
  • The legal conundrum here is that the NLRB which enforces The National Labor Relations Act, has ruled that employees have a right to engage in “concerted action”, including talking to each other about “working conditions”. This protected activity governs things such as chatter about safety issues, salary and benefits, and the like. I’m not aware of any case upholding the right to spout gender stereotypes. My bet would be that the laws on harassment will trump any NLRB claim.
  • Companies have the sometimes conflicting obligation to do “All Things Necessary” (that’s a direct quote out of the law) to prevent workplace harassment, including hostile environments based on gender, race, and so on. Allowing gender or racial stereotypes to be thrown about or used in hiring promotions would be a clear violation of the laws governing harassment and discrimination. An organization cannot sit back and wait for someone to make a complaint about such talk, they have an obligation to act, including disciplining or terminating individuals who engage in such behavior. Google had little choice but to fire or discipline the offending employee, not just for violating their internal code of conduct, but in order to prevent things escalating into a hostile environment (especially when Google is already being investigated by the Department of Labor for wage differences between men and women).
  • Good diversity training should not make anyone feel stereotyped or insulted. While I’m not familiar with the parameters of Google’s diversity efforts, it is possible to conduct training that does not create these kinds

What Should You Do?  

Make sure that your diversity training makes everyone feel included and not insulted. One way to do that is to avoid labels for people or behavior. I’ve written before that it’s not effective to call someone (or their behavior) “sexist”, “racist” and so on. In my experience, using those labels hardens opposing views and drives people to debate. Instead, be behaviorally specific about what kinds of speech or action violate the law, your organization’s policies or your values.

Allow the participants to engage in an open and respectful discussion about how they think they should treat each other at work and lead them through an exercise where they create their own values. Generally, these will be consistent with the company’s values, but if not, allow a lively discussion of differences and what individuals should do if their own ideas about values do not comport with the company’s. Make sure that you define diversity broadly:  not just race, gender and sexual orientation, but all the things that make us individuals, including, for example, where we were born, what values we were raised with, our ideas and our ethnic background.

Allow people to volunteer their own “cultural stories” about the unique attributes of culture that they bring to the workplace and how that contributes to a richer tapestry for the organization. Don’t force anyone to share anything too personal that makes them uncomfortable, but allow them to choose how much they want to reveal. We’re always amazed at the stunning stories participants bring forth of their own accord.

Above all, be respectful and polite with regard to different views. We always want to model the very behavior we’re trying to instill.

 Did You Know

We conduct diversity training along the lines described above. We use a variety of different facilitator pairs to make sure that the participants feel well represented. In 25 years of providing such training, we have never had anyone complain that they felt insulted or that their views were not heard.

For more information, call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
 
Be sure to read Lynne’s books on sexual harassment and affirmative action.

 
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – How to Make Executive Coaching Work for You

August 7, 2017

How to Make Executive Coaching Work for You
We do a lot of executive coaching, therefore we are familiar with what works and what doesn’t work. Sometimes leaders leap into coaching with enthusiasm and excitement. Sometimes they are dragged in kicking and screaming because their boss has demanded that they change some behavior that is impacting the organization in a negative way. No matter. Once you are in a coaching situation you might as well make sure that you receive the full benefit.

“Realize that you are going to receive from coaching exactly what you put into the experience.“

Surprisingly, this doesn’t always happen. Usually, we coach people who genuinely want to improve their attitudes and skills, but occasionally, that’s not the case. I have worked with leaders who avoided appointments, resisted assignments and refused to talk openly about their challenges. At some point, this is a waste of their time and ours. Once you are engaged in the experience, why not make the best of it and gain everything you can?

What Should You Do?  

  • Make sure the coach is a good fit. Ninety-nine percent of our coaching assignments come from referrals, so the assigning leader has confidence in their choice. Yet the person actually engaged in coaching may not feel the same. It is important that you feel comfortable sharing challenges with your coach and have confidence that their background is one from which you can learn. Coaches come in all shapes and sizes, some with great credentials and some — not so much. Sometimes it is just a personality conflict. A colleague may love your coach but for you, it’s just not a good fit. Request a change; otherwise you are just wasting everyone’s time and money. Make sure you stress that it is not coaching you are resisting, simply this particular coach.
  • Get clarity.  Clarify upfront what your leader wants you to gain from the coach and make sure that the coach understands your goals.
  • Do your homework. Most coaches will give assignments; complete them. If you believe they are not relevant, speak up.
  • Make weekly notes. Make notes throughout the week of any challenges you are having at work; bring them up in your next session.
  • Be willing to be vulnerable. Clarify that confidentiality rules on the front end. Most coaches offer a degree of confidentiality unless you reveal something that creates a legal or ethical problem for the hiring organization.
  • Be open to feedback. It may not be accurate in your view, but at least consider it. Read: “Receiving Feedback: What Leaders Should Make Sure Their Team Understands
  • Be all in. Realize that you are going to receive from coaching exactly what you put into the experience.

 Did You Know

We frequently offer executive coaching to help solve a variety of management and leadership issues.

For more information, call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

 
Be sure to read Lynne’s book “The Power of a Good Fight” –
Embracing Conflict to Drive Productivity, Creativity and Innovation. 
      
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – Leading to Avoid Confirmation Bias

July 31, 2017

Leading to Avoid Confirmation Bias

Frequently, I am asked to coach a manager or executive whose leader wants to change them in some way. Perhaps the leader needs to learn how to give people feedback without shouting demeaning comments, the leader needs to set more appropriate boundaries with her staff, or learn how to manage conflict.

Whatever the issue, my experience is that coaching is frequently successful, as long as the leader is given the appropriate incentive to change, and their boss can avoid confirmation bias.

Confirmation bias https://www.verywell.com/what-is-a-confirmation-bias-2795024 is the tricky psychological reality that we all face:  we tend to pay attention to data that confirms our existing beliefs.

Because of the additional human tendency to wait too long to solve many problems, leaders delay requiring coaching of a specific employee until they are totally fed up with that employee’s behavior. Thus, even though the employee is changing, the leader doesn’t see the change because they are ignoring all evidence of change.

 
“Are you being objective in assessing the leader’s actual behavior 
or are you only observing things they do and say 

that confirm your bias?”

In one situation, for example, I coached a woman whose bosses told me that they simply didn’t like her. As usual, I asked for specific behaviors that they found distasteful. They responded with a list of annoying traits: she interrupted people in meetings, failed to let partners know before contacting the firm’s clients, and so on. She was receptive to coaching and we worked hard over a twelve-week period to ameliorate these behaviors. As I checked in with the leaders during the process, they admitted that these specific behaviors had changed. Yet at the end of the contract, they lamented that they didn’t know if she would ever be successful at the firm because they “wanted to work with someone they liked,” even though they couldn’t exactly tell me what about her remained a specific concern. Confirmation bias.

 

What Should You Do?  

  • Don’t Delay.  If someone is a technical expert and a valuable employee, yet needs coaching on people and management skills, don’t delay. Don’t wait so long that you won’t be able to assess any changes accurately.
  • Be Specific.  Be specific on the front end of the coaching agreement. Make sure that you delineate specific behavior that you want changed so that you can more objectively assess whether that behavior has indeed improved.
  • Be Aware.  Be aware of confirmation bias. Are you being objective in assessing the leader’s actual behavior or are you only observing things they do and say that confirm your bias?

 Did You Know

We teach about confirmation bias as part of our leadership and conflict workshops, as well as striving to avoid assessments based on bias in our coaching assignments.

For more information, call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

 
Be sure to read Lynne’s book “The Power of a Good Fight” – 
Embracing Conflict to Drive Productivity, Creativity and Innovation. 
      
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – July 24 Receiving Feedback: What Leaders Should Make Sure Their Team Understands

July 24, 2017

Receiving Feedback: What Leaders Should Make Sure Their Team Understands

I have frequently written about coaching leaders concerning the right way to give people feedback, yet we talk less frequently about the ability to receive feedback.
One leader spoke to me of her concern, for example, about delivering feedback to an associate that she was worried would “crush” the employee. She had been delaying the talk because she thought such news might affect an already struggling employee’s performance. She hadn’t considered the other side of the equation:  perhaps part of the associate’s problem was her inability to receive and integrate feedback.
“How well we listen, sort, and integrate 

feedback helps drive our success.”

 

The reality is that the world is just one big feedback loop. We are constantly receiving feedback on how we are doing and how we should course correct. How well we listen, sort, and integrate this feedback helps drive our success.

That’s not to say that all criticism is valid, nor that all critics are equally skilled in whether they deliver feedback in a useful way. Yet everyone has to learn how to discern whether feedback is valuable and use the information to change their behavior in the future.

What Should You Do?  

  • As a leader, you have a responsibility to give people feedback. It’s not fair to the organization or the employee to delay letting them know how they are perceived. If you do delay, or worse yet, completely neglect to provide feedback, you may end up in a tangle when others eventually lose patience with the employee and their pertinent performance feedback has not been correctly documented.
  • Part of your coaching should involve how your associate should receive feedback, whether or not they think it’s correct. If you’ve ever tried to manage someone who was constantly blaming others, you know how challenging this can be. The psychologist Dr. Susan Heitler has a useful article on this point:  6 Ways to Take the Sting Away When You Receive Criticism
  • Realize that you may be projecting if you are reluctant to offer feedback. Just because you find something hard to hear, doesn’t necessarily mean the employee has the same issue.

 Did You Know

Our conflict resolution, leadership and other workshops offer suggestions about giving and receiving feedback.

For more information, call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

 
Be sure to read Lynne’s book “The Power of a Good Fight” –
Embracing Conflict to Drive Productivity, Creativity and Innovation. 
      
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – July 10 What is a Complaint? What Leaders Should Know

July 10, 2017

What is a Complaint? What Leaders Should Know

When I’m asked to sort out a harassment or discrimination situation – either with an investigation or trying to decide what to do after the fact – I frequently find that the client hasn’t really done an investigation previously because the complainant “didn’t want to file a formal complaint.”

This is almost always a major mistake. We don’t want to allow the complainant to determine when we investigate, and the whole distinction between formal and informal complaints needs to vanish.
 
“…find out what happened and seek to resolve the situation.”
Once you have knowledge of a potentially harassing or discriminatory situation, the organization needs to conduct some kind of investigation, regardless of how you found out about the problem, and without regard to the wishes of the alleged recipient.
I frequently use the analogy of a safety violation, you wouldn’t allow the people breaking the rules, or the person injured in the accident, to determine if you were going to respond. Harassment or discrimination complaints should be dealt with in the same way. You are responsible for the environment, not just the feelings of the complainant. Until you have conducted an investigation, you don’t know if there are other recipients involved or third parties who overheard or saw the inappropriate behavior. The organization’s job is to find out.

What Should You Do?  

A complaint is a complaint, whether it is “formal”, “informal”, written or whispered. Sometimes you hear about inappropriate behavior from a “friend” of the alleged recipient during office gossip or in a bar during an after work happy hour. No matter when or how the information is transmitted, if you’re a leader in the organization, you need to respond in the same way: make sure HR knows about the situation and follow their lead. Ideally, they should conduct an investigation unless the alleged behavior is clearly not a violation of law or policy. Don’t be misled by whatever label the complainant uses, nor how you heard about the situation. The organization’s responsibility is the same: find out what happened and seek to resolve the situation.
Even if the complainant urges you to keep their complaint confidential, don’t fall for that trap. If you do, you may find them seeking a higher authority in three months when something worse happens and stating that they told their managers and he or she did nothing. At that point, you’re toast.

 Did You Know

In addition to conducting workshops on harassment, discrimination and diversity, we also train managers and HR employees on how to respond appropriately to these situations.

For more information, call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Be sure to read Lynne’s books on sexual harassment and affirmative action. 

 
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – July 17 Avoiding Retaliation Claims: What NOT to do

July 17, 2017

Avoiding Retaliation Claims: What NOT to do

Most discrimination and harassment complaints these days also involve  retaliation claims. They are easy to make and easy to win. Since 2006, when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Burlington Northern & Santa Fe Railway Co. v. White, 548 US 53 (2006), the law has been settled that a court can rule that an employee was not harassed or discriminated against but that there was retaliation.
My experience is that retaliation happens and that it’s difficult for leaders to avoid. I was coaching an executive, for example, who informed me that he didn’t have to worry about retaliation because he “just wasn’t going to talk to those people.” Of course I advised him that he had to work with the two complainants and couldn’t just refuse to communicate with them.
“…resist the natural urge to get defensive or angry and try to understand 
the complainant’s concerns.”
In another investigation I was involved in, the alleged harasser emailed everyone he thought might help his cause and advised them to come forward and give us a statement supporting him and hurting the complainant. This resulted, of course, in many people starting to gossip about the complainant who had previously been unaware that the whole situation was going on, as well as setting him up for a retaliation complaint.
If you are the one who is accused, however, such as this executive was, it’s hard to avoid your natural instinct to be angry and defensive, which can result in unintentional retaliation. In addition, I have been involved in many situations where co-workers unintentionally retaliated against complainants by taking sides, gossiping about the people involved, and giving them the “cold shoulder” if they disagree with the complainants.

What Should You Do?  

  • If you are accused of discrimination and harassment, resist the natural urge to get defensive or angry and try to understand the complainant’s concerns.
  • Do not take any adverse action against a complainant without advice from HR.
  • Be aware of the standards of confidentiality and defamation.
  • Use an outside investigator to ensure neutrality and protect the internal investigator from retaliation.
  • Make sure that co-workers — if they have been witnesses or are aware of the situation — are educated that they could face retaliation and defamation claims if they violate these rules.

 Did You Know

All of our harassment, discrimination and EEO workshops include sections on avoiding retaliation. We also provide facilitation and coaching after investigations to help prevent retaliation claims. For more information, call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
 
Be sure to read Lynne’s book “The Power of a Good Fight” – 
Embracing Conflict to Drive Productivity, Creativity and Innovation. 
      
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Newsletter – Everybody Lies, So What Should a Leader Do?

May 22, 2017

Everybody Lies, So What Should a Leader Do
Truth And Lies Sign by GDJSocial science research in recent years has shown startling patterns about lying: everyone does it and the impetus for lying is usually governed more by opportunity than by character. http://www.npr.org/2017/03/27/520997346/everybody-lies-and-thats-not-always-a-bad-thing

While most lies begin small, they can explode into large scandals, corruption and ethical violations, ensnaring once well-regarded companies in political and economic tangles.

“Setting the stage for honesty is more effective

than asking someone after the fact whether or not they lied.”

 

The latest research has important implications for leaders. Most of you need to rely on your staff to be honest, to tell you the truth about company results, goals and assignments. Yet how do you know if you’re getting the straight scoop from employees?
One of the interesting findings of the research on lying is that asking people to commit to honesty beforecompleting a task – say an IRS form, for example – leads to more honest answers than asking them to assure you that they’ve been honest after they’ve completed the assignment.

What Should You Do?

Leaders have to rely on information from those they lead and they need to make certain that the information they are forwarding to other stakeholders is trustworthy. Consider the following:

  • First of all, be aware of the prevalence of lies – especially small ones and install multiple systems for checking on the information you are given. Never rely on one source.
  • Second, consider finding diplomatic ways to make sure that people agree up front to be honest, not at the end of a discussion or statement.
  • Third, emphasize character as a leader. Model the honest behavior you want to instill in your people and watch yourself to prevent accidentally falling into shading the truth.

 Did You Know

All of our management and leadership classes help leaders build ethical behavior in those they lead.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
 
Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk” – Tough Conversations with Your Employee
and learn to tackle any topic with sensitivity and smarts.
      
Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304