Blog

Voting and Work: Do You Understand the Relationship?

VOTE WITH YOUR FEET: Many years ago, I was vacationing in the Caribbean in a country with a wobbly reputation for democracy. On a cab ride from the airport to our lodge, we peppered the cab driver with questions about their ongoing election battles. He held forth on his opinions and then spoke of how challenged his father had been in trying to vote twenty years before. “He wasn’t allowed to vote”, our driver asserted, “but he did anyway, and they cut off his feet!”

VOTING AND WORKPLACE ISSUES: If you still haven’t voted – or don’t plan to – you may be blasé about the relationship between your work and your vote. Make no mistake: whether you are a leader or a staff associate, politics plays an important part of your working life. Healthcare, family leave, economics, pay parity, retirement accounts, health and safety regulations, wage and hour rules, discrimination, harassment, and so on may all be up for grabs at the ballot box. No matter what side you are on related to these issues, you need to vote to have an impact on the relevant policy.

POLITICAL DISCUSSIONS AT WORK? Unless you have been on a news diet, you know that we may be waiting for the election results long after November 3. Even if you have managed to steer clear of political discussions at work (or over Zoom), you may feel compelled to enter the fray as the battle rages on. In most workplaces, be cautious. Contrary to popular belief, you probably don’t have much in the way of First Amendment rights at work, since the First Amendment applies to government action, not that of private employers. Most organizations can set boundaries on behavior at work, including speech, unless it is directly related to topics such as safety, organizing activity and the like.

What Should You Do?

VOTE: The quality of your work life depends upon it.

PRACTICE RESPECT: Especially if you are a leader, make sure that you respect the election process (however long that drags on), and that you honor the result, even if you disagree. Otherwise, if you express your political beliefs and they differ from some of your staff, the implication that you are not fair when you are evaluating those you lead may be a real issue.

FIND APROPRIATE OUTLETS FOR YOUR HORROR: No matter who wins the various positions and ballot initiatives in this election, a significant percentage of the population will be disappointed. Express your views with your family, friends, social acquaintances, or at political events outside of work but leave your lectures at the virtual or actual door of your workplace. You are unlikely to gain any improvement in your working relationship with your colleagues and you could find that you lose a great deal.

What Do You Think?

How will voting and politics affect your work? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Assertive, Aggressive, or Leave Me Alone: Where Do You Fall on the Leadership Scale?

THE COMMON CHALLENGE: Many of the executives we are asked to coach have a common problem: they are either too aggressive or too retiring. Their organization wants us to encourage them to be less aggressive or more assertive. Finding that “sweet spot” where their views are heard and respected, yet they don’t trample over other voices, seems to elude their leadership skills.

ARE YOU ASSERTIVE OR AGGRESSIVE? There are many definitions of assertiveness versus aggressiveness, but a simple one I use is that aggressive behavior denies the rights of others and emphasizes winning at all costs; frequently, aggressive behavior uses anger or physical intimidation. Aggressive leaders don’t understand the difference between debate and dialogue. Read “Are You Using Debate or Dialogue? Does It Matter?” to learn the difference.

In contrast, someone who is assertive tries to find a win/win solution, listens well, and allows others to save face.

TOO RETIRING? On the other side of the scale are those who have failed to find their own voice as a leader. Frequently, even when they suspect a team’s course of action is a mistake, they will fail to speak up and allow the herd of lemmings to leap off a strategic cliff. They mistake passivity for teamwork and fail to make necessary contributions.

What Should You Do?

ASK FOR FEEDBACK: Through a 360 review, performance feedback or other tool, ask your staff for feedback about your style. While they may not be honest the first time you ask, if you keep asking, eventually you will receive a useful assessment. Be wary of asking family and friends. I have known many a workplace mouse who turned into a tyrant at home! We all behave differently depending upon the environment and the particular power dynamic we are facing.

LEARN TO LISTEN AND TO SPEAK UP:  We all like to think we are good listeners but most of us are not. When I was coaching an executive who was athletic, physically commanding, and had a habit of pacing like a caged cheetah when he spoke to his underlings, I had to have special cards made up for him that said: “Sit down, lean back, breathe, listen.” Read “Want to Be a More Effective Leader? Learn How to Listen” for tips on listening skills.

Similarly, for team members who are reluctant to speak up, I coach them to start small with issues that are not too threatening in order to practice assertiveness skills. I remind them that it’s all about skills, and that anyone can learn them, just as we can learn a new computer program. You can say almost anything if you know how to say it.

EDUCATE YOURSELF: Read books, listen to podcasts, watch videos on communication skills, attend training and teach others what you have learned.

While most of us realize that we need to constantly improve our technical skills,

we don’t pay the same attention to learning communication skills, even though lack thereof is frequently the number one problem that may limit our advancement.

What Do You Think?

Have you known leaders who were too aggressive or too retiring?  Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

What Can Leaders Learn From Covid?

THE COVID CATASTROPHE:  Most of us are sick of this year and keep longing for some magic carpet to whisk us away from this mess. I saw a T-shirt the other day that read: “2020: Directed by Quentin Tarantino”. Can’t we all relate?

HERE TO STAY:  While we all want this mess to be over, most experts warn that it will be many months, and perhaps years, before we approach anything we recognize as “normal.”

Indeed, most speak instead of the “new normal” or opine that we will never return to anything like that. Fareed Zakaria, for example, the CNN anchor, New York Times columnist and author, recently published Ten Lessons for a Post-Pandemic World. Zakaria stresses that this is just the first in a long line of pandemics and other catastrophes that we will be facing, especially since we’ve been living in a “petri dish” for years. While we don’t want to hear this warning, Zakaria emphasizes that there is hope in the form of learning that we can glean from 2020.

COVID WINNERS: Zakaria writes, for example, that we need to look at countries that have handled Covid well and understand why. He cites Taiwan as an example and argues that it’s not their form of government or culture that has made the difference, but the reality that they had to deal with other contagions such as SARS, which they handled badly. While the results of those situations were catastrophic, the Taiwanese government learned from their mistakes and managed Covid differently than many countries, including increased testing and contact tracing. The results were that Taiwan didn’t need to endure shutting down the whole country or a tragic death toll, unlike most western countries.

What Should You Do?

ACCEPT REALITY:  Acceptance is usually the last stage of grieving as I wrote in a recent Monday Memo, Employee Engagement Now: What Works. Most of us are grieving the life we used to have. Unfortunately, the grieving process is not quick or linear, so we have been slow to move to acceptance, especially when we have no idea what the future holds. Yet mourn and move on we must if we want to travel to the other side.

PIVOT AND INNOVATE:  The most successful organizations in the current crisis have been faster to realize that they needed to pivot and innovate because nothing was going to change back quickly, if ever. Rice University, for example, managed to continue in person classes by setting up tents for outside learning, while other colleges had to quarantine unexpectedly or utilize remote learning with inadequate preparation.

Similarly, innovative school districts, such as South Bend School Corporation, realized that some students had no access to acceptable WiFi and so quickly outfitted school buses to serve as mobile hot spots for students to use. Who knew that a school bus – that usually sits empty for most of the day – could serve as a mobile Internet café?

 LEARN FROM DISASTER:  Just as Taiwan has been able to cope more effectively with this pandemic, according to most experts, because they learned from previous epidemics, leaders need to start asking their staff what they are learning from the current chaos. While many of us keep asking the question:  when will this ever end?  the innovators among us will ponder: what are we learning? We can all hope that these are lessons we can take with us, even into an uncertain future.

What Do You Think?

We cover these and many more innovative leadership and management ideas in our workshops – live or virtual. Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Would the Netflix System of Management Work for You?

Change is Good? We are all dealing with so much change these days. I saw a T-shirt recently that read: “2020. Directed by Quentin Tarantino.” Can’t we all relate? If we look at the reality of our streaming habits these days, Netflix is the clear winner for most of us, but are you willing to adopt and change to some of Netflix CEO’s, Reed Hastings’, more controversial management techniques?

Hiring and Retention: According to Harvard Business Review’s look at the company, they believe that: “the best thing you can do for employees — a perk better than foosball or free sushi — is hire only “A” players to work alongside them. Excellent colleagues trump everything else.”

Fire the Worst: Netflix also has a policy of making sure leaders don’t hang on to people who are not “A” players, using the test of “would you fight to keep this person.” If the answer is no, they show them the door. They do try to be fair to the leavers, however, realizing that: “If we wanted only “A” players on our team, we had to be willing to let go of people whose skills no longer fit, no matter how valuable their contributions had once been. Out of fairness to such people-and, frankly, to help us overcome our discomfort with discharging them-we learned to offer rich severance packages.”

And Skip Performance Reviews? The company decided that performance reviews and plans were a waste of time so instead, they instituted a continual process of 360 feedback, asking “managers and employees to have conversations about performance as an organic part of their work.”

What Should You Do?

Use What Would Work:  Developers and engineers who work at Netflix may be a very different group than you are leading. Indeed, even that company acknowledges they need a different system for warehouse workers. Your environment might also not be conducive to some of their techniques but just thinking about doing things differently may be useful.

Use Caution With 360s:  While I don’t advocate never using 360 reviews, I do believe that training managers to give skillful feedback can be challenging. Your problems are increased if you want to use peers for the same process. It can be difficult to weed out comments that may be inserted because of personality conflicts, competition or outright sabotage. Indeed, all that advice needs to be delivered in a way that the receiver can hear and integrate.

Abandon Performance Reviews and PIPs?  This can be useful if leaders actually give real-time, regular feedback. In my experience, however, they may avoid doing so because they do not like conflict or they are too busy. At least with a more structured performance management system, staff receives feedback at regular intervals, rather than not at all.

Hire and Keep Only ‘A’s?  Wouldn’t we all like to do that? Unfortunately, if you are managing a sector with a lot of competition for talent, that may not be possible.

For more innovative management ideas, go to Workplaces That Work.

What Do You Think?

We cover these and many more innovative leadership and management ideas in our workshops – live or virtual. Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

How to Handle Zoom and Road Ragers: managing Anger at Work 

ANGER NOW:   People are peevish now, no question. Even if you are toiling in your own cave at home, the ragers in your group still find ways to assault you over Zoom, email, or other technologies.

If you are in the real world with them, anything may set the erupters off: the copier isn’t working, someone forgot to make coffee, their presentation disappeared into cyberspace, they don’t like the way you breathe. Whatever it is, they fuss, fume, and scream at routine daily annoyances that the rest of us grin and bear.

WHY DO THEY DO THAT?   When people are angry about everything, the critical common denominator is them. They mistakenly think anger is empowering and rage is a way of being assertive. Not true. When someone is constantly irritated, they are assuming the “poor me” victim role, the weakest posture they can take. Their underlying emotion may be fear, hurt, frustration or a combination of the three. Anger may also mask depression.

WHAT IF YOU ARE THE RAGER?  No question, many of us are having trouble managing our own anger right now. How should we deal with this? I have coached executives, for example, who believe that it is healthy to express their anger in the moment, that suppressing their rage may hurt their health or psyche and that those they lead should not be so sensitive or should just: “deal with it, because it’s who I am!”

The research, however, does not generally support this view. While expressing anger may feel good to the rager in the moment, they later feel shame, guilt, and remorse. In addition, eruptions may have long-term health consequences, including high blood pressure, diabetes and more. Read this Anger Management Help Guide for anger management tips.

What Should You Do?

REFUSE TO TOLERATE ABUSE: While you can have compassion for the co-worker who is expressing anger inappropriately, you should never tolerate abuse. Walk away, complain to your boss (or your boss’s boss), or HR.

DOCUMENT: And document, document, document. Just be sure you document behavior; specifically what they say or do – not your conclusions, assumptions, or biases about the person’s behavior.

SPEAKING UP: While you don’t have to confront the rager, and should not do so if you feel unsafe, use a format such as this if you do:

You did ______.

(Describe specifically what the person said or did.)

When I objected to your behavior, you ignored me.

(Or yelled or whatever; describe what the person did or said.)

I care about you and support you and I wish you success in our workplace, but if we’re going to work together you need to treat me and other members of our team with respect.

(Set a boundary with the abuser.)

You hurt me (or them) when you said or did ____. It also resulted in us missing a key deadline because Mary was so upset by your outburst that she had to go home and our assignment wasn’t completed.

(Describe the behavior and the result of that behavior upon yourself, your colleagues, and the work itself.)

I would hope that this is something that you’re not proud about. If you want to continue to stomp around with a frown on your face, go ahead, but you’re going to do it without us.(Outline consequences of repeating the behavior.)

I respect your work and I want to have a good working relationship with you, but peace at any price is no peace at all. You owe me and the team an apology. I intend to give you the benefit of the doubt and move past this, but we’ve had our last heated argument and I’ve taken my last bit of disrespect from you. (Add a specific request and repeat that you will not tolerate the behavior and the consequence if it continues.)

Above all, communicate these messages in person (safely distanced), over video conference or on the phone. Email or messaging just exacerbates the problem.

UNDERSTANDING HELPS:  If we take the time to understand why someone behaves this way, we are more grounded in our thinking brain, rather than our hidden or unconscious brain, and these sorts of boundary- setting conversations become more useful.

AND WHAT SHOULD RAGERS DO?  If you are a rager, you need to deal with it, for your sake, as well as the sake of your team, and your other work and personal relationships. Get help from a coach, a therapist, or your priest, but do learn to express anger in healthier and more skillful ways. Here’s a useful guide for managing anger.

What Do You Think?

How do you and your team manage anger at work? Call or write us: 303-216-1020 or email: Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Are You Listening to Me? How to Make Sure That Someone Does

WHY LISTENING IS SO HARD: Right now, there are at least three causes: 1) the way our brains work; 2) modern distractions; and 3) lack of education.

A WIRING PROBLEM: Hearing is our fastest sense. Once a sound wave reaches our ear, our brain can recognize it in just 0.05 seconds. (By contrast, it takes about 0.2 seconds for your brain to understand the light that reaches your eyes.) We speak at a rate of about 150 words per minute (wpm), but we can hear at a rate of about 1,000 wpm.

INSTEAD OF LISTENING, WE… Interrupt, try to finish the other person’s sentences, jump to conclusions, daydream, flip through papers, make up our mind before we have all the information, look at our phone, watch our computer screens, try to change the subject to something that relates to our own experiences, think more about our reply than about what the speaker is saying, or listen to win, instead of listening to learn.

WE DON’T PRIORITIZE LISTENING: When was the last time you took a listening class? Never, right? Yet, many of us have taken speaking classes or leadership workshops. These generally focus on rhetoric or persuasion skills but rarely on listening.

What Should You Do?

LEADERSHIP AND LISTENING: One of the most important things we can learn as leaders is how to listen, but we rarely do. Many times, all we really need to resolve a sticky conflict, calm down a staff member, or convince an important colleague to stay is to make the speaker feel really heard.

HOW TO MAKE SURE YOUR STAFF FEELS HEARD:

• Focus: don’t multitask when they are talking;
• Listen to learn not to win;
• Use active listening skills – summarize back to the speaker what you think they said;
• Use the phone or in-person conversations whenever possible; and
• Model good listening and teach your staff listening skills.

For more lessons on listening read: COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY DURING CONFLICT

What Do You Think?

Is politics an issue in your workplace? Call or write us: 303-216-1020 or email: Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Do You Know the One Sure Way to Change Behavior? The Power of Daily Questions

CHANGING BEHAVIOR: Many of us are frustrated with changing behavior: our own or that of those we lead. One of the most effective ways to make sure that a change sticks is that of daily questions. I have my colleague Marshall Goldsmith to thank for this simply yet powerful technique. He has encouraged those of us who have been his grateful students over the years to employ this tool.

WHY BEHAVIOR CHANGE MATTERS: We may focus on changing vague standards such as attitude or respect. These are useful ideals but they will not really move the needle unless we bring our concerns down to daily behavior: things we can actually do or say. In addition, unless we focus on those concerns on a daily basis, we are likely to lose track in the undertow of daily life.

ACCOUNTABILITY: We need to focus on accountability. It is far too easy to delude ourselves into thinking that we are making progress when we are not. Instead, if we (or those we manage) focus on letting at least one other person know about what we have actually done on a daily basis, change is much more likely. For more suggestions about changing behavior, go to www.workplacesthatwork.com.

What Should You Do?

FOCUS ON EFFORT DAILY: The daily questions focus on effort, not accomplishment nor a “to do” list. Use the format of: did I do my best today to …., and then grade yourself (or have your staff member grade themselves) on a scale of 1-10. Goldsmith sometimes uses as many as 17 daily questions. I find that too unwieldy for most of us; I recommend at least five, but not more than ten to the executives we coach.

FIND AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER: Most of us find it harder to lie to someone else than to mislead ourselves. Recruit someone – ideally, not someone you work with – to schedule a daily short call (ten minutes or less) – to listen to your progress. The emphasis here should be on listening: their job is not to give advice, feedback, or criticism.

TRACK YOUR PROGRESS: You can keep track of your progress over weeks or months by using an Excel spreadsheet or even the Goldsmith app. Go to Marshall Goldsmith’s website for more tools and explanations of the process.

CHEER ON THOSE YOU LEAD: You can encourage those you lead to use daily questions to change any behavior you (or they) believe needs to be improved. You can model the tool for them and help them track their growth as you give them feedback on various performance issues. Just be sure that you are actually focusing on observable behavior, what they are doing – or not doing – as opposed to attitudes or beliefs. We never really know what is in someone’s heart or mind (and for some people, it is way too scary in there!) but we do know what we observe by their words and actions.

What Do You Think?

Have you tried the tool of daily questions? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Do You Know How to Engage People Now?

Anger Management: Most of us are snappish these days: sick of zooming, tired of staying in and avoiding friends and family. We are burned out on politics, fires, remote learning, and just want to go back to the “before time.” We may be snarling and short with those we lead but we still need to find a way to keep them engaged.

Engagement: We live in an age when we need to involve those we lead to accomplish our goals. To gain their buy-in, we need to learn how to inquire instead of just informing them of what we are doing. Now more than ever, we need to try to create productivity from our entire team. Especially if your staff is working remotely, email, text or messaging can come across curt, rather than engaging.

What Should You Do?

Try Inquiry:
Instead of just ordering everyone around, here are some specific examples of things to try:

____________________________________________________________________________________________
Obviously, if the problem persists, your language might need to become more didactic, but first, try inquiry.

For more ideas about communicating effectively, read these articles: 

Communicating Effectively During Conflict
Difficult Conversations: How NOT to Get Them on Your Side
Leadership Communication: How Do You Rate?

What Do You Think?

Is politics an issue in your workplace? Call or write us: 303-216-1020 or email: Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Politics in the Workplace? What Should You Do?

POLITICS NOW:  Most of us are sick of politics right now with presidential campaigns, local elections, ballot initiatives and endless Covid-19 debates. The last thing we need is more political discussions in the workplace – whether we are in person or virtual – yet some of your colleagues will persist, no matter your preferences. If you are a leader, you may have specific responsibilities to monitor and respond to this chatter. If it is your co-workers who are driving you batty, you may want to know what you can do to create some peace and quiet.

DO FACTS MATTER?  In recent years, we have been led – thanks, in part, to social media – to harbor suspicions about what is real and what is not in some news reports. If you want a good source to sort out the facts, or to respond to an annoying co-worker, you might want to consider the book True or False: A CIA Analyst’s Guide to Spotting Fake News.

“Private employers can generally make rules about acceptable behavior in the workplace, including speech, and workers need to follow those rules…”

FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS?  We frequently receive questions from participants in our classes about First Amendment Rights when discussing politics. They are surprised to learn that in most private workplaces, they have none. Private employers can generally make rules about acceptable behavior in the workplace, including speech, and workers need to follow those rules, assuming they are consistent with the laws. There are a few exceptions to this rule if you are part of a group of workers who are organizing or complaining about working conditions, but generally, the First Amendment only applies to government actions. In addition, speech related to group union or “organizing” activity, or religious expression, may be protected. Even with regard to religion, however, you don’t have a right to harass or try to convert those who believe differently.

What Should You Do?

A LEADER’S RESPONSIBILITY:  If you are a leader, you have a right, and a responsibility, to stop speech that is political if it violates your policies against harassment, discrimination or safety, or if it simply disrupts the ability for people to get their work done. For example, we had a client in a state where there was a very contentious issue concerning abortion on the ballot. People started arguing about the issue, that escalated to shouting in the halls, posters on cubes and so on. After seeking our advice, the client sent out a new memo stating that there would be no more talk about abortion, period. Personally, I think that people in the workplace can be encouraged and educated to talk about politics with respect for others’ views and without making negative remarks about other workers’ ethnic, gender or religious background, but many of my clients disagree.

VIRTUAL “SPEECH” COUNTS TOO:  Because so many people are working virtually, they may assume that the rules about these issues no longer apply. Not true. The same policies about what is acceptable speech in the workplace remain, whether online or in person, assuming you are using your employer’s email, Zoom, Slack and so on. Even social media can create problems if you are holding yourself out as a representative of your employer.

BE CAUTIOUS WITH YOUR OWN SPEECH:  This is especially true if you are a leader. You do not have the right to insist that your employees support a specific political leader or point of view. In addition, if you express your views and then need to take disciplinary or other negative action against an employee with a different viewpoint, you may be accused of unlawful discrimination or retaliation.

For more information about this issue go to our Monday Memos.

What Do You Think?

Is politics an issue in your workplace? Call or write us: 303-216-1020 or email: Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Bias, Equity, Diversity and Inclusion: How to Pick the Best Consultants?

WHY NOW? We have been receiving many requests recently for work on equity, diversity, and inclusion. We are not surprised, given the recent Black Lives Matter protests that highlight historic racism, renewed interested in #METoo subjects and other diversity issues. To ensure you receive the most for your investment in these endeavors, be sure that you understand how to pick the best consultants.

PAST MISTAKES: Many past efforts to address these issues have assumed that those causing problems were “bad” people: racist, sexist, homophobic and the like, who intentionally discriminated against or harassed others in the workplace. Work focused on “fixing” or disciplining these people. While, of course, there may have been some who fall into these categories, more current theories have emphasized both unconscious bias and microaggressions. These ideas help all of us understand that we each have biases, and that what works is not to deny that we have them but to keep uncovering these biases and making sure that we don’t act out on them – especially in the workplace.

UNDERSTAND THE LAW: When I ask new clients why they want to focus on these issues, they frequently cite examples that are not at all subtle but are clear violations of law or their organization’s policies. In other situations, we have been asked to undo harm created by previous consultants whose confrontive and unskillful work has created new legal problems for the organization.

What Should You Do?

USE A TEAM APPROACH: In order to select the best consultants, use a team to help you screen, interview, and select consultants. A diverse group will help you avoid your own blind spots and prevent biased choices.

In addition, we always use diverse training teams to conduct equity, inclusion and bias work so that we model the diversity we’re striving to help our clients achieve. Most groups appreciate hearing from the voices of diverse presenters.

DON’T FIGHT THE LAST WAR: Currently, many organizations are concerned about equity issues around black employees – rightfully so – and sensitive about sexual harassment. Both of these topics merit attention and yet current events may outrun your efforts to keep up with what is important. Make sure you cast a wide net when you consider diversity and inclusion issues, not just what is hot in the headlines.

CHOOSE CONSULTANTS WHO UNDERSTAND THE LAW: They do not have to be attorneys but they need to understand the law and the hidden minefields in this kind of work.

What Do You Think?

What has worked for your organization when you have selected equity, diversity and inclusion consultants? Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or email Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com