 December 3, 2018
Do You Know When You Should NOT Speak Up? Your Advancement Could Depend Upon It
We all know someone who blurts out every thought that comes into their head. I know that for me, I have learned from the thinkers among us, that it is important to think before speaking. What a concept! Certainly, some of those people appear to be conflict avoiders, but they may just be thoughtful, introspective, and actually want to mull issues over in their mind before they speak up.
We all could learn from this. Buddhists focus on the concept of right or skillful speech, a practice we all could emulate. A recent, insightful TED Radio Hour, an NPR compilation of various TEDTalks, tackles the issue of speaking up and provides useful guides for how to do so.
What I would like to suggest, however, is that there are times to keep our mouths shut.
What Should You Do?
Here is when NOT to speak up:
- When your emotions are out of control. Skillful emotion management is the key to speaking up at the right time and place. If you are too angry, sad or afraid, take the time to calm down first. It’s okay to appropriately express anger, for example, by saying something simple like “I am angry that this project is five days late”. It’s not okay to scream, pound the table, throw things and make demeaning or condescending comments, as I have written before in a recent Monday Memo.
- In front of other people. Frequently, it’s not okay to speak up about a dicey issue in front of others, unless you are trying to organize a union or run for President. Give negative feedback to someone in private and ask for change with the person who has the power to actually improve things.
- When you are just whining. We all whine occasionally and some people make a habit of negative speech. Many things are beyond our ability to control and of course, we want to complain about the weather, a losing sports team or the like. Yet, if we really want to change something at work, we need to bring forward solutions, not just repeat the problem.
“…if we really want to change something at work, we need to bring forward solutions, not just repeat the problem.”
You Think?
 Did You Know
In all of our management and leadership classes, we cover how and when to speak up.
Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
BBe sure to read Lynne’s two books on how to handle tough conversations with your boss and employees.
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