How to Get Anyone to Talk and Tell You What You Want to Know

How to Get Anyone to Talk and Tell You What You Want to Know

INTERVIEWS, INVESTIGATIONS OR ZOOM: Even now, in a mostly virtual world, we need to talk to one another: interviews, investigations, or Zoom happy hours still require conversations. To find out what you need to know about co-workers or customers, you need to know how to get anyone to talk about anything.

TALKERS VERSUS THINKERS: Of course, there are always some people who will not shut up, even if what they are saying has no relevancy to what you want from them. In my experience, people generally fall into talkers versus thinkers. There are those (I used to be one of these) who find out what they think by talking, and those who like to think before talking. (What a concept!). Understanding this difference can help you find out what you need to know and time your conversations. Especially with a tough topic, you may need to ask the question and then schedule a time for someone to answer after you have given them a chance to think.

ASK AND THEN HUSH: The introverts among us may think that starting and maintaining conversations is challenging because they assume they need to spend most of their time talking. The reality is, however, that asking open ended questions and then listening is the best way to find out what you need to know.

What Should You Do?

OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS: Ask the classic who, what, where questions. Avoid questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no.

LET SILENCE SPEAK: Most people are uncomfortable with silence. Ask your question and then wait. Often, the interviewee will rush in to fill the quiet with words, letting you find out what you need to know without doing much of the work.

BE CURIOUS: I am usually good at investigations and interviews because

 I am naturally curious about the world. Do not be afraid to say that you are confused or puzzled: the world is indeed a mysterious place. Ask for advice; people usually like to offer counsel, telling you what you need to know. Frequently, you don’t know what you don’t know. I often ask at the end of an interview, for example, “What would you want to know if you were doing what I’m doing?”

For more tips on communications, go to www.workplacesthatwork/Mondaymemos.com

These and other meeting ideas are addressed in all our leadership and management workshops – live and online.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Coaching and webinars on these and other management and leadership topics can all be delivered virtually.

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Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk – Tough Conversations with Your Employee” and learn to tackle every topic with sensitivity and smarts.