Leadership Strength Versus Vulnerability? Which is Best?
THE CHALLENGE: Current experts sometimes suggest that leaders need to exhibit vulnerability to be effective. The theory seems to be that expression allows their staff to understand them as fully human and thus more effective. I agree that emotional intelligence, as I have previously suggested, includes vulnerability. Check out how emotional intelligence assessments can help leaders change.
Yet leaders also need to show strength, so that their associates feel safe and know that they can count on the leader to be there no matter what else may occur.
THE DANGER OF OVERSHARING: I have had coaching clients sent to me because they did not seem to understand oversharing: the rule that leaders need to leave some things for private view only. I might share, for example, that I have been divorced as a part of an illustrative story about managing change. What I don’t need to do, however, is offer up all the gory details of the whys, whens and wherefores. Those issues are best left for close friends, your priest, or your therapist.
THE NEED FOR SECURITY: Every human being needs to feel secure to function effectively. All of us, of course, have different levels of risk tolerance: some of us love to ski down glaciers or dive with sharks, others love the comfort of home and hearth. What they need at work from a leader, however, is knowing that the leader will be there to guide them through stormy seas. A leader can admit that they are worried or uncertain (especially in the midst of a global pandemic, economic uncertainty, and political unrest) yet their staff needs to know that they won’t abandon ship and that they are working diligently with the best of expert advice in order to find the most effective channel to steer through the waves of change.
What Should You Do?
TRESIST OVERSHARING: Even if you count some of your staff among your best friends, resist telling them everything about your personal and professional life. For one thing, it is difficult to distribute friendship evenly and you risk being accused of favoritism. For another, you risk creating more fear among the ranks, especially in times of change.
ADMIT HUMANITY BUT…: Knowing that your boss is human can help you feel connected to them and connection fosters effective leadership. Yet a little bit of vulnerability goes a long way.
CHECK YOURSELF: It is useful to have an independent and trusted advisor to help you find the balance between strength and vulnerability. Before you have that tough conversation, give that speech, or send that email, find someone – outside the organization – to help you determine if you have successfully walked that razor’s edge.
These and other meeting ideas are addressed in all our leadership and management workshops – live and online.
Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
Coaching and webinars on these and other management and leadership topics can all be delivered virtually.
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Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk — Tough Conversations with Your Employee” and learn to tackle any topic with sensitivity and smarts
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January 11, 2020
