Lean Back? Are Most Male Managers Now Afraid to Mentor Women? 

Lean Back? Are Most Male Managers Now Afraid to Mentor Women?

Good News/Bad News: The good news is that most companies are now taking sexual harassment and discrimination more seriously. The bad news is that “60 percent of male managers say they are uncomfortable mentoring, socializing or having one-on-one chats with women. That number is 14 points higher than last year,” according to a recent survey by LeanIn.org and Survey Monkey.

The Paranoia Problem: Since most leaders are still men, this kind of paranoia severely limits the advancement of women. Mentoring is the way that people learn what I call “unwritten rules”. If men are afraid to mentor women — most likely out of the backlash from #METOO — women won’t know what those rules might be. All organizations have unwritten rules. They couldn’t write everything down or the rule book would be 1,000 pages long. If you walk into a conference room, for example, and don’t know that a certain chair belongs to the leader, sitting in that chair could be a huge faux pas. A small example, of course, but these kinds of “insider rules” add up if you don’t know about them.

Not harassing is not enough. We need men to support women’s careers. That’s how we’ll achieve a workplace that is truly equal for all.

– Sheryl Sandberg, COO, Facebook and LeanIn.org founder
– Marc Pritchard, Chief Brand Officer, Proctor & Gamble

The Discrimination Claim: I’ve found that many leaders in our sessions or executive coaching don’t understand that if they conduct informal mentoring meetings for men, they’re engaging in discrimination if they ignore those sessions for women. In addition, if there’s been a previous claim of discrimination, backing away from women could result in retaliation claims.

What Should You Do?
EDUCATE LEADERS:  Make sure that they understand that treating men and women differently because of their own fear is discrimination and potentially, retaliation.

CHANGE TRAINING AND EXECUTIVE COACHING SESSIONS:
When you conduct workshops or executive coaching on sexual harassment and discrimination, make sure that you include how appropriate mentoring should work with both men and women.

MAKE MENTORING A PART OF PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS FOR MANAGERS:  Many leaders have advanced because of technical skills, not their ability to mentor and coach their staff. Include evaluations concerning these skills. Make even-handed mentoring matter.