The #1 Reason Your People Erupt and What to do About It

The #1 Reason Your People Erupt and What to do About It

The Eruption Problem: If you have been a leader for any length of time, you know the issue. You have a long-time staff person who has never caused you problems and all of a sudden they scream at a colleague. Or, perhaps you have a brilliant sales manager who can be charismatic and charming one minute and yelling at his team the next. What propels your people to behave in ways that disrupt and disturb your environment when you least expect it?

The Hot/Cold Response: What neuro-psychologists tell us is that almost all of us respond differently when we are in a “hot” state; when we have been triggered by an event, person or discussion. If we are in this mode, we react in ways we would never have imagined possible when we are in a “cold” state: when we are rational and calm. We become strangers to ourselves and others.

Of course, we all have different emotional set points, the level at which we may erupt or clam up varies from individual to individual, but almost all of us have our limits. At some point, we will freeze, lash out, or behave in some other way that feels bizarre to us and to those who know us well. For a detailed explanation of this phenomenon, go to NPR’s Hidden Brain, In The Heat Of The Moment: How Intense Emotions Transform Us.

Even if we are on a diet, for example, we may eat two pieces of cake when we are ravenous, despite our New Year’s resolution. When we are satisfied, we can’t imagine such behavior.

What Should You Do?

Don’t Dismiss The Power of Emotions to Transform Us: Understand the reality that – with a powerful enough stimulus – all of us can transform into beings we don’t recognize. We will yell, freeze or have unprotected sex, no matter how much we believe that such behaviors are inappropriate. Victims may not report sexual harassment, for example, if their fear of retaliation is strong enough, even if they are assertive in most situations. Leaders may snap at a direct report, even if they believe that managers should maintain a calm presence. Mothers may go on to have another child, once the pain of childbirth and sleep deprivation subsides, even if they swore that they never would.

Value Emotional Intelligence: With hiring, promotions, and other decisions about staff, value people who understand that emotions matter, their own and their employees. Encourage learning about the impact of emotions as much as you do technical skills. Don’t promote someone into managing people who has brilliant proficiencies, but no people skills and no interest in learning such competencies.

Provide Training: Help is out there. All the research shows that we can learn to master emotions, even powerful ones, through training, coaching, books and other learning methods. For more information on this topic, go to:

How Emotional Intelligence Assessments Can Help Leaders Change Do You Know the Most Important Quality for a Leader?

What Do You Think?

Have you observed behavior in yourself and others that seems completely out of character? Call or write us at:303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com