Want to Be a More Effective Leader? Learn How to Listen

Want to Be a More Effective Leader? Learn How to Listen

The Power of Attention:  Everyone I know who has met former President Bill Clinton (including me), describes his power to make you feel as if you were the only person in the room. Regardless of our politics, most admire his ability to come from a humble background and rise to (and survive) in the highest office in the land. Pundits often point to his power to empathize and listen as one of his greatest strengths.

Who Paid Attention to You?  If you think back to mentors, leaders or teachers who changed your life, undoubtedly, they had the ability to listen to your hopes and fears. Have you been able to pass along this gift to those you lead or coach?

How Successful Leaders Lead:  Research suggests that when we are in conflict with someone we start feeling as if the other person is either uncaring or not very bright. With smart leaders, they assume that everyone else involved, regardless of background or title, is smart, caring and fully invested. When we come from that place, we fuel a better outcome. This mindset encourages parties in conflict to understand why others have differing views, which allows them to have constructive conversations.

What Should You Do?

Ask How or What:  Often described as asking open-ended questions or active listening, this technique is easy to describe but hard to implement consistently. Resist the urge to ask questions that can be answered with a “yes” or “no” and ask questions that require more information and opinions.

Listen to What’s Not Said:  Become aware of tone, body language and intensity. If someone’s voice drops at a certain point in the conversation, for example, you might let them know that you noticed that difference and ask them if they were feeling uncertain about their idea at that point. Ask “what are some of the strengths and weaknesses you see in that proposal?”

Become Comfortable with Silence:  Silence makes most people uncomfortable but if you are willing to wait for someone to answer a question or present an opinion, even the shyest person may eventually talk. Ask something open ended and then sit still and listen.

Resist Offering Unsolicited Advice:  We may love telling other people what to do but, in most situations, allowing them to come to their own conclusions is far more effective. Continue active listening until they do, unless they clearly ask for your opinion.

For more tips on listening, read these Monday Memos:
A Surefire Way to Get People to Get People to Listen
Leadership Communication: How Do You Rate?

What Do You Think?

Have you had experience with these kinds of situations? Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com