 January 14, 2018
Want to Become a Better Leader in 2019? Follow Alan Alda’s Communication Tips
What does listening have to do with being an effective leader? Almost everything! In his book, If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face? Alan Alda schools us in the miscommunications we all have and how we can be better listeners. Surprisingly, part of his answer comes from being alert to our own feelings and speaking up when we don’t understand what others are saying.
Alda talks about three common communication blunders and how we can avoid them.
- Pretending we understand something we don’t.
- Not being careful to understand the rules or requirements of the situation.
- Not asking questions based on responding to what the person just said but on whatever our agenda might be.
Check out Alan Alda Wants Us To Have Better Conversations NPR’s Hidden Brain podcast.
Many leaders we coach seem to think that leading consists mainly of speaking. Yet, when we do 360 interviews with their bosses and staff, their co-workers assert that the leaders need to become better listeners instead.
What Should You Do?
In order to become a better listener and therefore, a better leader, follow Alda’s tips:
- Timing: As an actor, Alda learned not to “spray” the other actor with his dialogue. Instead, he suggests, wait for the other person to do or say something to which you need to react. If you are actually, listening, you don’t say your part just because you have memorized the lines, but because you are reacting to the other actor in real time. “Wait for life to happen”, says Alda, between you and the other person.
- Listen for “Switch Tracking”: Sometimes, we are actually having two different conversations. If you are really listening, says Alda, you will notice by the other person’s face or tone that they are not really tracking with what you are saying. They are listening to — or wishing for — a totally different conversation.
- Seek to Find Common Ground: Sometimes, we fight just because we belong to different tribes, not because we really disagree. Seek to put aside past allegiances and see the person anew. If you did so, what might you agree upon?
- Use the Four Word Question: Alda quotes Don Hewitt, former Sixty Minutes producer, who would interrupt his reporters who were trying to pitch Hewitt an idea: “Tell Me a Story”. We listen better and become more involved with a story. Don’t just give people the facts, tell a story — with a beginning, middle and end – that illustrates the point.
What is your experience? Do you find a relationship between leadership and listening? Call or write us.
 Did You Know
In all of our leadership coaching and workshops, we focus on listening.
Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
Be sure to read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk — Tough Conversations with Your Employee” and learn to tackle any topic with sensitivity and smarts
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