What’s Reasonable for a Leader to Expect Around Conflict?

What’s Reasonable for a Leader to Expect Around Conflict? 

 THE CONFLICT CHALLENGE: I was coaching an executive recently who moved from a high conflict organization to one where most leaders avoided conflict. Both drove him equally batty. I had to agree that neither organization presented a skillful approach. If you treat every situation as one where you must draw out your knives, or the opposite, if you avoid issues that do need to be addressed, you will not lead your people to productive conflict management. Life is full of conflicts – large and small – and a reasonable approach is to make sure that you and your staff prepare for conflict as you would any other organizational challenge.

WHAT IS CONFLICT? I like to define conflict as “a negotiation that we don’t know we’re having.” Many people have good negotiation skills and most organizations would agree that leaders need to be able to negotiate well, but for some reason, assume that conflict is a different animal. If you have a difference with a group or individual that has an impact on you or your team’s productivity, that’s a conflict. Unfortunately, we tend to assume that differences that lead to conflicts are a sign of dysfunction, rather than assuming that a skillful approach should be a part of a leader’s essential toolkit.

What Should You Do?

PREPARE FOR CONFLICT: Inspire your team to take a matter-of-fact approach to conflict management, honing your resolution and negotiation skills before you need them.

FOLLOW YOUR VALUES: It’s easy to lose your way in the heat of battle. In order to avoid this fate, pause the action and come back to your values as leaders, teams and organizations. Make sure that these values are created, discussed and inculcated, not just slogans you paste on the walls and forget about. If you can remember why you are fighting and what would be a solution consistent with your values, making your way though the thickets of conflicts will be easier.

ASSUME LEADERSHIP DURING CONFLICT: Don’t assume that other leaders or organizations know what they are doing during conflict. Don’t wait for someone else to suggest a skillful approach to resolution, instead take the lead in a respectful and skillful way to help create a framework and process to resolve the dispute.

For more suggestions about skillful conflict resolution, read:

Three Steps to Resolve Conflict Quickly!

Want to Resolve a Conflict Fast? Here is How to Settle a Dispute Like Herb Kelleher

Do You Know What Conflict Style You Are? Knowing the Answer Can Make or Break Creativity, Productivity and Innovation

What Do You Think?

What expectations do you have around conflict? Call or write: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com